I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my liquor consumption lately.
I know I drink. I can’t remember when it crossed a line from being social to being a drinker. I know when I started hiding it was when I realized I had a problem. But the word alcoholic scares me. So I have not taken it into my vernacular until now.
I’m an alcoholic. Fuck that scares me.
I don’t know how to deal with it. I am not prepared today to stop. Even though it caused deep problems in my marriage? He never wanted me to stop drinking, just not hide it. And even then I couldn’t. I NEEDED more than I could be truthful about.
So I have a problem. And if I am totally honest? Admitting it is only one step. Dealing with it will have to happen another day.