More recently I have been studying some of the pagan or shamanic ways of dealing with internal angst. Psylocybin is recommended on a regular basis as a healing medicine. What I took was provided for spiritual purposes. Instead of fun times and cartoons with friends I took them after I did a healing ceremony on the beach. I came home and put on some music that would make me comfortable and I allowed the medicine to take hold and bring me inside myself.
I think it was the most valuable healing experience I have ever had. It wasn’t all pleasant though. Facing your demons and embracing the ability to grow is hard. At one point I was sitting under my blanket crying, sobbing, as I thought about all the things I was self discovering. Really seeing some of my pain and accepting my ways of coping with it. I could see all the damage it has done throughout my life, not just my marriage. And I felt the power and energy to begin to make change!
Of course, it is mushrooms, so the psychoactive effects made everything very intense. I did have a problem when my music turned off. I was under my blanket on the couch, with it over my head, and I kept trying to get out from under the blanket. Desperately. But there was too much light or it was too cold or any other reason that every time I pulled the blanket off to fix music? I couldn’t. In my mind it was because I had more lessons to learn in the blanket tent. And I cried because I really wanted my music but I couldn’t make it happen until I was ready to come out of the tent.
After an hour of sitting in silence and facing myself? I got the ability to turn my music back on. And I could dance and feel like I was celebrating all the learning. It really was magical. I recommend it for healing!