I’ve been admitting a lot about myself to myself and others. Acknowledgement is good as a first step.
The next step is to face the music. I’ve made a lot of apologies to my husband over the last few days. But he’s not the first person I have hurt with my problems.
There are some particular people in my past that I used or hurt. So I am working through making restoration. That is a slow and painful process as I sit and remember the people I have hurt and how. Some of them I have no way of contacting but for those I can reach I am starting to send messages of apology.
I’m beginning with people that I can only reach online and probably don’t care enough about me to respond. I think that is good for me. I am more afraid of a bad response from a friend than an ex from my past.
Hi! I’m sending this message to tell you how sorry I am about what I did to you. I’m facing some demons and trying to really grow for the first time. I’m giving you a link to my blog so you see all of what that means, if you want.
But, regardless, I am trying to take responsibility for how I have hurt people. In my own habits to deal with my own pain I used and hurt you. Badly. And I am truly and deeply sorry.
It’s a start! As I continue to grow and recognize more ways I have caused pain I will reach out to friends and family and do my best to make amends.