My husband and I met years ago at a meeting I hosted, with my then partner, about developing a political event. Well, that’s when we met in person. We had been friends online for a few months before that.
That event fell apart but we remained friends, mostly online, for years. We each had our relationships and lives and just occasionally sent each other supportive messages.
When I found out he was leaving on a forest adventure and I was suddenly single? I made my move. He took me with him, allowing me to escape hurt, pain and habits! All because I promised to be his camp cook. Not even a couple.
After that? We’ve faced so much life together that would destroy couples. We fell in love by living together alone in struggle. And we are apart right now, facing our own demons, but still communicating through all the pain. Why? We are soul mates.
How did we get ‘married’? We were accused of some things. The government came to arrest us. I was away at a medical appointment so they got him without me. I came back to turn myself in because I knew what I was accused of was not true.
And after they took care of my arrest and release, knowing no one else had not been able to get any info, I told them I was concerned for my ‘husband’s’ safety and I hadn’t been allowed to contact him.
Husband? I even joked with the officers that the word husband might freak him out. We weren’t even a couple.
Within hours he was given a phone call to his wife. We exchanged the words “you are my wife” and “you are my husband”. And we have been married since.
We exchanged hundreds of pages of letters while we were apart. After his release and clearing all that stuff up we bought rings and wore them And we treated our marriage as though we had made vows in front of everyone and the gods.
It’s fallen apart right now. Some of that is how it started. No one starts a marriage by claiming it from the police.
If repair is to happen? It will need to be very different! And it will take time and healing.