A Walk

ocean

My husband and I live in a close community and where he is living now is not far from where I live.  Since our messy break up I’ve spent the majority of my time at home, or at least in the park, so I could avoid running into him. Our email communication was rocky at best and I didn’t want to face him. We were communicating well the night of my healing ceremony so I simply asked him to avoid the area I was going and he respected it.

I’ve come to understand my anxiety about seeing him also meant I was avoiding things that could help  me heal, like walks and sitting by the ocean to meditate.

He had been pushing me to have a face to face with him. Even though I didn’t quite feel ready I went ahead. That meeting itself went well. We went for lunch, at a local place, but after seeing each other communication fell apart again.

It’s a long process where we are still figuring everything out individually before we can consider being together again.

The advantage of taking that step of seeing him? I don’t need to feel anxious about an accidental run-in. We crossed the barrier and I am no longer afraid to go for walks outside the park where I live.

This picture? I walked down to visit the ocean for a few minutes today.

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3 thoughts on “A Walk

  1. I should brobably keep my mouth shut, but I would like to give you some advise based on my experience with a toxic relationship. I found out after trying and trying again that there was to much water under the bridge and no matter how hard we tried, we just could not make it work. The longer it went on, the more hurtful things were said. I finally realized that to move on into the future and happiness, I had to leave the past behind. You are on the right path, but I think you should walk that path alone for a while.
    Well, there’s my words of wisdom for the day. Now time for a nap.lol
    I wish you happiness and joy. YOU deserve it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And please let me add, seeing him was more about me feeling less anxious to go out and go for walks. It was about MY healing, not about seeing him. The barrier had to break for me to feel less anxious.

    Like

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