What Will It Take For Reconciliation?

I think both my husband and I are putting a lot of thought into reconciliation.

There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone.
We can be in love with each other and still hurt each other.
But we can’t love each other and hurt each other.
I am in love with you, no doubt, but I haven’t been loving you like I should. Meaning I wasn’t holding up my end. I wasn’t showing my love for you when I was being resentful of feeling unloved. All while we are hopelessly in love.
On top of everything we need to learn how to love each other as much as we are in love with each other.
Does that make sense?? One is a feeling the other is actions.
On the good communication days his messages inspire me to new heights of growth. He was, and still is, my best friend before being my husband.
So what will it take to reconcile? I’ve been thinking about it a lot but mostly in terms of what I need to change about myself. Drinking, fear of being honest, independence and self love within my marriage. That’s the list so far.
He’s asked me several times what it will take for us to be back together. What can he do for us? How can he help me?

He is making amazing strides in the areas of personal growth. He’s found work and will be able to take care of himself without me. He is making friends outside us (even a girl). He’s recognized a lot areas he needs to work on and is sharing how he is doing it. I’m proud of him and happy for him!

And right now? All we need from each other is the time and space to heal individually.

I think once we have both healed and really proven to each other that we have made sincere changes about our personal issues is when we can think about looking at ‘us’.
In the meantime, I am happy to still be communicating with my best friend!

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