Avoiding Avoidance

Some days I really just feel like I can’t face anything. Today I am feeling worn out. All the self discovery, coupled with outside stress, and I am beat. I’ve already avoided usual things I do. I haven’t eaten or even made coffee. I just want to crawl back into bed and avoid the world today.

That behaviour is a slippery slope for me. I often drink by myself on those days. Even when my husband was here I had this habit. Now that I am alone it’s even easier to hole up and avoid things.

So today I am making a choice not to avoid things. Even if it as simple as self care! The sun is shining so I will go for a walk. Friends of my parents happen to be in my area from across the country and they would like to see me. And I’m going to start it all with a nice healthy breakfast.

I’m finding it challenging to get it started. I actually have no motivation to do any of those things but I don’t want to sit here wallowing in my worn out feelings and wanting to go get a drink.

So how do I get motivated? I’m not sure. I guess that’s the best place to start working on it.