The Pastoral Visit

I want to say that visit wasn’t painful and I’m doing great. But’ I’m being honest now, right?

It wasn’t as awful as I thought. I was honest about everything I was asked and didn’t hide anything about myself. I was open while still respecting their beliefs and relationship with my parents by choosing my words wisely.

But I am drinking wine while I type this.

Why? I felt compelled to share things about myself with strangers. And that is ALL me. I accepted the request to visit. I felt the need to be honest. I have an inability to say NO to this kind of thing.

They are very nice people. Turns out the wife is from the island I live on. Her mom is close by and she visits more than once a year. So I can expect more visits. (Ha ha)

Some things that made me really comfortable? They acknowledged before we even really began talking that they hardly know me. That’s when she shared her mom is from the island and when my mom told her I was living here she just thought it would be a nice way to reach out to me. They asked thoughtful questions completely unrelated to religion. I mean, obviously that topic came up but they didn’t start there. They really listened and understood things about me.

There was religion talk. Every time they brought up God I got uncomfortable in my soul and had to deep breathe so I wouldn’t react too strong. I dealt with that by sharing my healing ceremony with them. They were talking about healing so I told them how I found my first bout of healing.  They didn’t pressure me toward religion or God, only spoke about their beliefs and experiences. No advice was given and that helped.

We talked about some of the things I went through with the law when I was in another province. They listened openly to the full story and responded with so much understanding and love. I really felt like they were proud of how I handled myself and learned something new from me about law.

They asked about my health and listened as I went into great depth about my health issues.

They asked when my husband would be home so they could meet him. That is when I cried a bit. I’d really hoped not to break down in front of them. I told them we are separated and asked they don’t tell my parents before they visit in two weeks. I want to tell them.

We went for a walk to look at my garden and the place where I live. Turns out they garden enough they sell things in farmer’s markets and they gave me some tips.

At the end of the visit? We stood outside by their car and they each hugged me. She asked if she could pray for me. I told her she could. It was nice. She prayed for my physical healing. Nothing to do with the spiritual. I felt like I could accept that prayer for myself.

And now I am having some wine because all of that was so much more than I was ready for. I think I did well with them even if I’m not quitting today.




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