Courtship

There was only one time in my life I was ever “dated”. Nowadays people don’t date. We meet, have a coffee/drink and then we’re just there or not. A lot of time the interaction happens online.

I’m old fashioned. I like to be wooed and seduced. By one man only. Picked up, doors held, and treated like I am respected and cherished.

My husband and  I ‘came to be’ under the new fashioned way. We met online and never really dated because we started as platonic friends. We ended up in a relationship of circumstance, not love. Love grew. Our marriage was developed out of a painful situation and we’ve fought for it ever since. The pain our marriage came from is something neither of us recovered from. And we took it out on each other. It’s not the marriage either of us deserve.

Our emotional journey of healing has begun. Individually. It will take time for each of us to realize our own issues and heal from them before we can consider being back together.

As it stands, we’ve started communicating in a much more healthy fashion now. Set boundaries. We’ve had a couple face to face connections. A walk. Lunch. It’s really nice to see my friend and be able to give some of my apologies in person. To accept some apologies in person. It’s going to be a long road to healing and I have a lot of it to do alone.

But if there is to be any kind of reconciliation I’ve realized I need courtship. We are best friends. The friendship came years before sex was involved. We skipped the courtship part of falling in love by doing it backwards and we can’t let that happen again. It’s vital.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Courtship

  1. OH so true. I believe that chivalry is not dead. Courtship should never end. Date nights once a week, love notes on the bathroom mirror, surprise gifts, a loving touch as you walk by, walking hand in hand………

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We never really did those things. We had some romance and terrific sex but we didn’t date. It’s so important! I’m not going to rush headstrong into anything again.

      Thank you for commenting!

      Like

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