Bad Days

What do bad days look like for me?

I’m having one. I’m going to try to describe it.

I barely slept last night. I had a fight with my ex about my personal choices. We are realizing we might not be able to reconcile. He’s still ‘at me’ about it in email today and I feel totally responsible. I drank yesterday and? Already drinking this morning. Wine over coffee on bad days. And I feel like a disgrace to humanity.

I know I am not a horrible human for drinking wine at 9am. But why can’t I fix this?

I’m in so much misunderstood pain today. I don’t know me enough to figure it out. I can’t even figure my shit out and I am being attacked for it.

I’m scared. I feel alone even though so may people reach out to me. I’m sad today. I can’t see light today.

This is so much more difficult than I imagined. All I want is wellness.I had no idea it came with so much pain.

 

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3 thoughts on “Bad Days

  1. You are seeking spiritual/mental wellness the way I am seeking physical wellness. Truth? Growth hurts no matter what kind of growth it is. Trust that at the end of this journey, you will be a better you. You are strong enough…so ask yourself…do you REALLY want it? If you do, keep pushing!

    Liked by 2 people

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