Ability to Change

Honesty. Time to grow. Ability to change.

The first two? They’re working. Ability to change? I am struggling with.

I think it is because I want to chose what changes and when. I’d like to stop drinking today and manage my anxiety and depression. I want to be self motivated. Those are all things I want to change that I feel like I am still failing at. I’m beating myself up about it too.

But I heard a really cool thing while watching Grey’s Anatomy.

In the face of the impossible, become inspired

Do you know what has changed? I’m honest now. That is a huge change that will lead towards the changes I want. Time to grow? Means the changes will come in the time I am ready for them. I get closer to making those big changes every day that I acknowledge more pain.

What else has changed? I’m opening up and realizing big pains in my life that have held me back from change. There is a lot more of that to come. That’s a big change I haven’t been giving myself credit for.

I’m apologizing. That’s a big change.

I sometimes lose sight of where I was a month ago to where I am today in my own growth. I have changed so much. Today I accept that and will continue to take on the ability to change things as they are ready to be changed.

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