The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Each person goes through them at their own pace.
- Denial: “This is not happening to me. It’s all a misunderstanding. It’s just a midlife crisis. We can work it out.”
- Anger and resentment: “How can he [she] do this to me? What did I ever do to deserve this? This is not fair!”
- Bargaining: “If you’ll stay, I’ll change” or “If I agree to do it your way, can we get back together?”
- Depression: “This is really happening, I can’t do anything about it, and I don’t think I can bear it.”
- Acceptance: “Okay, this is how it is, and I’d rather accept it and move on than wallow in the past.”
Two nights ago we argued. I realize from that conversation there is no more bargaining. And now I am feeling the super sadness of depression settle in. I’m sad my marriage is over. I’m sad I was the primary reason. I’m sad that it looks like we won’t be able to get it back. I’m sad that we may even lose the friendship.
And I don’t know what to do with all this sadness.