I’ve been fighting misconception my entire life. Mostly at my own hand because I hid things about myself from the people closest to me. More recently I am fighting misconception because other people won’t see the truth I’ve exposed. Which is a bizarre turnaround for me.
The most clear example of this is regarding the break-up of my marriage. Right now? Rumours are flying around on both sides.
My side sees the way we split. A big messy fight that involved a physical side to it. So he is called a wife beater. And I am judged for even trying to be friends.
His side? Sees me as a raging alcoholic who should be avoided at all cost. The unwarranted words cheating slut have come up as well. And he gets told to forget about me.
So where does the truth lie? He and I have been talking, sometimes fighting, about it for a while now.
We both know things went too far that night. How much of my ‘damage’ was caused by me or him has been sometimes debated. But we’ve both decided to accept it went too far on both sides whether it was actions or reactions. And we’ve decided to let go of arguing about it and individually work on our underlying issues instead.
The truth is my ex was never a wife beater. A physical altercation does not make someone an abuser. Especially when a lot of my perceived ‘damage’ was self inflicted. And I am an alcoholic. My drinking went too far and it is something I need to face with truth. Some of his reactions went too far but it doesn’t make him an abuser.
I’ve recently been judged for ‘defending him’ when I try to tell my honest side of the story. I’ve had arguments with people about it. When people try to dispute the truth about me by encouraging me to lay blame where it doesn’t lie? That isn’t helpful!
Today I am working through how to positively deal with misconceptions!