I marathon watch shows with relationship undertones and like watching romantic comedies when I need to cry. It means I see a lot of Hollywood style grande romantic gestures.
Serenades at windows. Chasing people down at airports. Unrealistic though they are they make me weepy and feel all warm inside about love and romance.
My estranged husband has only met my parents once before. Even though we are separated, almost especially because we are separated but still talking, I asked him to see them with me.
He has anxiety like I do. He’s not religious, they are very religious. Him and I are living apart and working on some deep seeded issues that my parents would know about before seeing him because they would see me first. So I knew it would be very difficult
And at first he shunned the idea. He went back and forth between being okay with it or not. I kept telling him is would mean a lot to me. That it was important to me.
In the end? He agreed to spend the time. We trail walked and went for dinner. But at the end of dinner he and I had a fight in front of them at the restaurant. I walked out to my parents car. He walked out too, and, walked home (miles). Kind of awful. It was two days ago.
Him and I communicated about it in email. Argued. But in the end we found some understanding for each others position. That’s all we can hope for right now.
I let him know they were leaving today. I told him if he wanted to say goodbye before they leave we could meet for coffee. I let him know they still see him as their son-in-law so they would be kind. But that I wouldn’t pressure him this time.
This morning when my parents were leaving and I had them drive me up the road to the laundry on their way out. Guess who was there to say goodbye?
He spent some time with my dad while I said some things to my mom about how happy I was with our visit. He wished my mom Happy Mother’s Day. It was a nice goodbye.
Too me? That is the real life equivalent of the Hollywood romantic gesture.