Making Lists

list book

I make lists. I’ve done it since I was very young. This is my current list book. I liked the colors, etc but what I liked most? It is a high school notebook. The inside has a classroom schedule type calendar. I’m going to use that to add more structure to my daily life. The outside had a thing on it where you are supposed to write in what class it is for. I covered that in colorful peace stickers.

I’m not sure when I started becoming obsessive about making lists. I know it was while I was still in the workforce because it was one of the qualities or characteristics I gave as a plus in job interviews.

I wonder sometimes if my list making isn’t a bit over the top. Grocery list, to do list, list of people to write to, long term purchases, work that needs to be done in my trailer. And, of course, a list of all the lists I need to make or update.

When I last saw Toby I had my list book with me. Naturally she asked about it. I told her about making lists and that I was a bit obsessive about it. She didn’t seem concerned about that. We talked about my listing habits.

For example, I will make a to do list as a way to motivate myself. Not everything gets done on the list because I really am lacking in the motivation department right now. I make sure I accomplish at least one thing each day. I put a big colorful check mark beside anything that gets completed and the rest gets moved to the next to do list.

Lately, more stuff has been moved than checked off and I was discouraged. One thing Toby said is, “Making a list is in and of itself an achievement”. It means regardless of my motivation or my ability to finish the list? I keep trying.

Even when I am so discouraged I feel like I can’t cope with it? I set daily goals, no matter how small. She really encouraged me that as long as I am still making my lists I am doing alright.

She also encouraged me to remember the small things that I manage to do. Especially on days when I feel like I can’t do anything. That every step in the right direction, no matter how small, is still a step in the right direction.

It’s inspired me to make a new list 🙂 I’m going back through my list books and making a list of all the things I HAVE done in the past few months. My list of accomplishments! And I will hang it up somewhere prominent to remind me every day that every step in the right direction? Is a step in the right direction!

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2 thoughts on “Making Lists

  1. While I wouldn’t say I am enthused with lists as you are, I can definitely understand why they’re such a big source of comfort to you. It’s a nice way gaining control/organisation over what can be a very chaotic existence. I really need to make a list of exciting things I would like to do at some point. It’d probably be helpful in combating my depression. Either way, thanks for writing this 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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