My ex (Mojo) and I had some people come into our lives when we first arrived to the island. This couple was very familiar with our past situation and they have mutual friends with us. We looked each other up online and started to become acquainted.
I really like the husband as a friend to us. His wife was more someone I tolerated because I enjoyed the budding ‘couple’ friendship and potential for community. But we butted heads. We are very different people.
When Mojo and I separated they are the people who took him under their wing. Her and I had some very belligerent online conversations about all that and I know I offended her deeply.
If I want/need to see my ex? It’s better it happens where he lives. So I go there. However, even though I am allowed to be there? She is so upset by my very presence and it taking it out on him.
It’s time for the apology. I know I’ve needed to find a way to make peace with her and I’ve come to realize the things that were my part in the situation. So here it is. It’s being hand-delivered shortly!
Dear (name removed),
I’m writing this note to hopefully bring some peaceful amends to our current situation.
I know I sent you some messages that were awful. I want to apologize for talking to you the way I did. I was trying to communicate my own problem and instead I attacked you personally. I used the worst verbiage, swearing and name-calling, as my mechanism of self defense. I apologize for using inappropriate language and personal attacks on you. I’m getting healing and trying to communicate better.
I appreciate any of the ways you have helped me in the past. I am grateful for the way your family and community continue to help (my ex). I think you have a heart with the best intentions.
I want to live peacefully with all my community, especially the people who have (my ex) there. I want to be around him without making conflict for him in his community.
I am still healing. I know I am not ready to TALK to you about this. But I am open to a dialogue online. In the meantime, there are things I can promise as my effort as peace and reconciliation:
- I will say hello. I won’t ignore you. I can be polite and cordial.
- I’m not looking to disrespect you or throw my presence in your face. I will be discreet when I am invited to visit (my ex). And, again, polite and respectful if we so happen to see each other.
What I am cautiously and respectfully requesting?
Please don’t confront me. I’m asking if you NEED a face-to-face discussion with me please respect I’m still in a very delicate place of healing. Let me know you need to talk and I will prepare myself to be ready for open discussion instead of being put in a position of defense.
You can choose to forgive me or not. Regardless, my apology is sincere and I hope it brings some peace to BOTH our homes.
From the heart,