Ultrasounds

Over the course of my surgeries and disability issues I have been for so many tests. US’s, CT Scans, Barium Swallows (I’ve had 5).

I went for ultrasounds yesterday. I read the requisition so I knew  they were looking at my stomach. I regurgitate a LOT. The last time I had an US was in Winnipeg. It showed my small intestine was herniating into my stomach. My new doctor likely just wants to check in on that. The other part of the req? My lower belly. I have scar tissue. Lately it has been growing and painful, so my doctor put that on the requisition as well.

Two things.

I tried to calm myself about the whole procedure when it started to get long.

Why?

She took WAY MORE pictures than on my requisition. Stomach and lower abdominal were on the requisition. When she moved over to my spleen and asked about my gall bladder? I knew she was off the path of the requisition.

I re-focused by asking her about her job.

I asked her how she came to be a US Technologist. It takes years. She started out in X-Ray and general radiology but decided to specialize in Ultrasound. I asked if she loved that she got to tell people about their babies? NOPE! Worst part of her job and she tries to stray from obstetrics.

We talked and laughed about how she developed her career. She asked about mine, how I lost that part of my life and came to be on her ultrasound table that day.

Seems like a whole lotta talk for two scans, right?

Well…  as I suspected, and watched, as we chatted? She scanned it all. Liver, spleen, both kidneys. I saw the scan labels as they popped up with each picture. She was very thorough and I am very grateful.

Something I learned about Ultrasound, compared with other radiology specialties? US Tech’s have more ‘diagnosis’ involved. Other scans (X-rays, CTs, MRIs) show everything and most doctors can read/understand it in a general sense.

Ultrasound techs? They see things as they are taking pictures and take more pictures if they see something they question. They take it to the radiologist, who takes it to your doctor! But it’s the US Tech who catches it. Heroes!

I can’t say I’m not freaking out right now. She took so many more pictures than on the requisition because (from talking to her) she feels sense of being thorough about her job!

She saw something. I jumped with pain at one point. Her face softened, she took a bunch more scans than on the requisition, she became soothingly calm in her demeanor; a change from the first point of the exam. And she told me my doctor will be in touch right away.

My doctor will be in touch right away?

Okay. I have anxiety as one of my health issues. Kinda in full blown panic today. WTF did she see? She scanned all of everything she could.  I saw the pictures with their labels. She had that face of deep concern as her demeanor changed from ‘technologist’ to someone who cares and sees something wrong and sad.

And because I a prone to panic, also going through other issues (family deaths, etc) I am trying to calm myself by questioning my judgement about what I saw on her face.

But I didn’t see anything good on her face. And she took so many extra pictures. And she told me my doctor will be in touch right away. And I’m scared.

I’ve been dealing with my health issues, without doctor supervision, for several years. Now that I have a doctor again I am kind of scared about what this neglect has done. I’m going for my tests. I’m doing what I need to.

But it seems even ultrasounds scare me these day!