My Rebellions

Am I a rebel? Some people in my life might categorize me that way. I have a brother who does for sure. He called me a danger to society and told me I will never know his children. Maybe some of the people in my childhood think of me as rebellious for converting to paganism.

I think of myself as a quiet rebel. “Always in compliance, even in defiance!”

My first ‘rebellion’? I was about twelve years old. We had to wear skirts to school and other friends of mine wore nylons while I was made to wear leotards still. So I approached my parents. I sat them down and presented my case in a formal fashion. They told me they would take it under advisement. They came back with a compromise. I wore leotards because they didn’t get ruined as easy. We were poor.They would pay for one pair of nylons a week and if they got ruined I would wear leotards or find a way to but my own nylons. AGREED!! I won.

I learned very early if you present your situation well and are reasonable about what you want? You can make change!

So, coupled with that aggressive attitude I had naturally? Came the way I was brought up in church. Obedience. I sometimes still hum this sick song that goes:

Obedience is the very best way

To show that you believe!

Doing exactly what the Lord commands

Doing it naturally

O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E

Obedience is the very best way

To show that you believe!

 

Children in the old testament got stoned for disobedience. I was kinda terrified of disobeying. And when I did? My dad only had to glance at me with anger and I would break down. I wasn’t scared of punishment, I was sincerely upset with myself for disobeying. I’m way more of a rule obeyer than a rule breaker.

Okay, considering some things in my past that statement is up for debate. Ha ha!

I rebel in my own ways!

I married an immigrant to keep him in the country because I disagreed with the laws at the time. I moved into the heart of the forest to try and protect it from an oil pipeline and ended up arrested for it. I’ve protested a lot of controversial issues – like CFS stealing children. I thought my city’s Food Bank was failing people so I started another one. Just went door to door and asked people for food, then gave it to people who needed it. Some NDP politician called me a communist for doing that without government approval and I got shut down.

So, yeah, I rebel.

But I also face my consequences! I went through court about the forest stuff. I walked away with a fine and no criminal record. I stood up to that politician for 6 months before he shut me down with my food help. I faced every consequence of my high school rebellions. My immigrant ex husband and his wife now live in this country and why? Because even when I rebel it’s with a heart that can defend it. If I rebel? It’s because I believe in something enough to face the consequences!

I have fight in my spirit today. I haven’t felt that feeling in a long time. I need to use it in a more productive fashion than being in fight mode. So, here I am writing about feeling rebellious. And I have dance music on. I’m trying to chair dance while I type and dance some less fight into my soul.

What can I find today to gently rebel against?

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