Karma

dita

Dita Karma LaVendetta

She has such an inspirational name to me. I’m a Scorpio, so LaVendetta? Yep. Karma? Yep.

I met Dita when I was walking home from the bar. She was sitting on the front steps of my apartment building. She’d had a ‘bad date’. It was 20+ years ago so I don’t think she had her boobs yet.

I was sad. She was sad. I’m sure she doesn’t remember talking to me that day even though I’ve reminded her since. But I was in a moment of crisis. She was, too. For such a brief moment? Two strangers comforted each other and hugged goodbye.

What she doesn’t know? I was FRESH out of Bible College. I had no friends and I was struggling with my sexuality. I couldn’t talk to anyone. But I spent 20 minutes talking to Karma and I made a choice to be true to myself. Her personal courage with what she was going through that moment? Inspired me to find my truth.

We never talked again.

She is out and loud and proud in the LGBTQ community. I found out after she is my best friends cousin. She knows so many of my friends. So many weird connections.

Still? I will never forget meeting Dita. She, unknowingly, shaped the course of my life ❤

 

“Dear Mike”, a letter to someone I am leaving

You can’t imagine the mixed emotions I have about leaving your park this Sunday.

When I first came to this island you gave me not only a place to stay? You gave me a home. You brought me out of a tent into a trailer.

When my ex and I split up ‘super public’ in your park? You took me under your help, making sure I had a place to stay. That was secure. You GAVE me my home.

I’m sad I am leaving you. Even in leaving, you have checked with me twice to make sure I have everything I need. You have told me I am welcome here any time. TWO people have told me you said to them you will miss having me here.

After all the chaos of last spring? I’m grateful that you kept me around. You’ve told me you value me as a tenant. You’ve defended me.

Mike, I am so grateful for everything you have been to me in these moments of my life when I needed someone most. YOU are one of the most kind souls I have ever met!

Box Lunch

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT 18+

eating-pussy

I like to have my pussy eaten. ALMOST as much as I like to indulge in that special dessert.

Some would think it is because I started my life as a lesbian. But I actually came to have an appreciation for the art of muff diving from the man who changed my mind.

Hunter was something else. I ‘technically’ lost my virginity (to a man) by some chump who didn’t even manage to manage to break my hymen. I called Hunter crying.

“What the fuck? How could you tell me I HAVE to try it with a man before giving up girls? That was awful!”

Hunter came right over and made it right. I’d showered and he gently kissed all the terrible of that first time away. He taught me men can eat pussy just as good as any gal. Sometimes better! He broke my hymen. He became my long time lover.

He was with someone. I was occasionally with people. We got together when I was between relationships. Or unhappy in them. I ‘saw’ him through three kids being born and grown to teenage. I talked with him about his struggle between religion and his passions. I never interfered with his marriage. He loved her, even though I was there. And I had a kind of love for him. He changed my life and opened me up sexually.

Tonight? It has me wondering how we get to this sexual person we  become in life.

Hunter came to love eating pussy because? When he was 16 some distant relative (married to a great uncle) took him into her tent at a family reunion and had him go down on her for hours.

Me? My sexuality started SO young that I am not sure what inspired it. I remember being pre-school (around three years old) and when everyone else bowed there head to pray at church I quickly lifted my dress and flashed my vagina at the church. I snuck into the barn bathroom at my dad’s work to read lady porn. I slept with my favorite doll, Mary’s, face between my legs when I was in kindergarten and my sister once tattled on me for humping my Raggidy Anne doll.

Regardless of when it all started? I LOVE having my box eaten. And even though I am pretty much into men these days? I’ll still eat a pussy before munch a meatstick any day!

My Baby Blues

eyeball

It looks like a strange blood moon but it’s really my eyeball!

When Dr. Poon left the room for a minute and this was up on his computer I snapped a picture with my phone. It looks really cool.

More importantly? I got my eyes checked yesterday. I was having ocular issues and my glasses broke so it was time. I don’t like doctors but he made everything that would normally make me nervous somehow comfortable.

I talked to him about what I want.

I wanted contact lenses. I like sunglasses and the look I have when I don’t have glasses on. He was hesitant, because of my age. But then he did my eye test.

I have “amazing pupils”! They dilate well, no special drops to force dilation for this chick. And they bounce back from things like air pressure or other light tests so wonderfully. The doctor kept complimenting my eye muscle strength. I felt like an eye super model.

I left with contact lenses and new glasses. Feels good to see again!

Sick Sami

So my lil’ bundle of joy is sick.

By yesterday morning I knew my kitten was sick. Puking, not playing, not purring and only wanted to be on mommy.

I’m on a limited income so I wasn’t sure how I could take her to a vet. One friend offered to help (up to a certain amount) so I went to my neighbour and asked who her vet was. Heather (Heathers Feathers) went above and beyond. She called around to find someone who helps people on my kind of income.

Greg, the stranger, called the Lighthouse Veterinary Clinic and arranged to have my sweet Sami go in right away. The expenses were covered for her to at least get checked out and observed. Looks like she will be fine and able to come home to me tonight.

I am so grateful for a community of people willing to help me in an emergency. I’m surrounded by wonderful humans.

Candle Magic

candle-magic

On the October Full Hunter Moon I chose to finally exercise my particular energy. It was a supermoon. I sent out a money spell.

There was someone withholding money from me.  I was worried they wouldn’t pay. They have.

I asked for extra to help me with things I need.  I really needed a drink and someone to share it with. My friend, Heather,  had me up to her place. She read some cards for me and then my scratch ticket won. Not much but still a thing.

I have one other thing I asked for. I have a sister I want to come visit me. I asked for money blessings for her. I have two out of three. I am still sending out all my energy for her to be able to visit!

UPDATE: Since this spell? That is when my unexpected inheritance came in. (https://allhoursblog.wordpress.com/2016/11/10/the-cheque/) And, I’ve had a few other good fortunes I’ve come into. I’m hoping it holds out so my insurance review goes through. I’m pretty certain it will!

 

 

Chatter

I’m so fed up.

Bad, good or otherwise? I don’t want to be the topic of any person’s conversation. My life is no one’s business.

But here I hear again. Chatter.

Why is it who I spend my time with is anyone’s matter? I had a friend, who I spend time with, go to a public place and get harassed about it. He played me a voice mail of someone crying the blues because she got told off for being a bitch to him about me. CRAZY! Too much drama!!!

That I am moving? No one’s business but the owner and a few friends. Well, I guess, I announced that one on my blog so it’s on me… but why discuss it? I wanted to go out quietly but all of a sudden everyone knows. One person practically started a petition for me to stay  (won’t happen) by driving people to my door asking me to reconsider.  It’s sweet, but so not going to happen.

My new friend took it upon himself to talk about me in a setting that I didn’t want to be talked about. He came to me after and told me the discussion. He didn’t instigate it but did participate. I asked why he didn’t just say, “Shaunda hates being talked about. Can we stop?”

His reason was that he was defending me. Honourable, I suppose. But I don’t need to be ‘defended’. I’ve done nothing wrong. So just stop talking about me. Either shut the conversation down or walk away from it.

I’m told the conversation about me was shut down by the park owner. Well, at least the parts of the conversation that were speaking bad about me.

I will miss the owner of this park when I move. He’s been nothing but kind to me. But I can’t say I’ll miss this CHATTER!

Patient or Pussy?

Am I being patient or am I simply taking excuses for not being paid what I am owed?

I want to think I am being patient. I have been in the position of owing money I couldn’t pay because my own circumstances didn’t align.

But these folks have a name in the community for not paying debts. The wife told me at one point that they have never paid anything on the debt they owe for the home they live in. I was warned not to trust them.

He told me tomorrow he will be by. That is when Grace Time ends.

I’m not the most patient person and I think I have been the most patient I can be at this point. We’ll see tomorrow.

 

 

Grace Time

5pm has come and gone.

The person I’m feeling angst toward has at least returned my possessions, even though they have not paid me the remainder of the money they owe me.

I have what was important to me. My tent. Silly? Maybe. But it is security and sentimentality combined for me. I lived in my tent for three months while we walked here. Sentimentality.  I could live in it again if I needed to. Security.

Having my tent has somehow allowed my spirit to relax a bit on the money. I need the money. My income is limited. I was counting on this payment several days ago.

However? I also have people who care about me. I won’r go without any necessity. I will be okay.

So? I’m giving some grace time before I go after the people that still owe me.

 

Exposition

I’m struggling right now. By ‘right now’, I mean this very minute. I want to exact my vengeance on someone and I am having trouble holding back.

They have wronged my ex and I. They are holding our property hostage with promises to pay for the some things I am willing to sell off to them. They are failing to follow through on payment. And not relinquishing the property that is still mine.

When asked about it? They told my friend (who was trying to help me collect) that it is reservation land and I would have good luck collecting or moving my property off their land.

WOW!  I have respect for native people and was surprised by his lack of honour.

And here I sit. I have all kinds of people who would like to take revenge on my behalf. Their methods are not my own. I am hoping that by today’s end I will have the money in my hands. I don’t want to take matters to MY hands.

My first option? I’ll call a Sheriff. I have the paperwork to show the property is mine. I can bring a Sheriff. But, on rez land? A sheriff is just a threat. Honestly? I can’t actually remove my own property from their land. Even with police.  They know that. And? POLICE are not my preferred method of dealing with this.

Second option? I have people willing to make sure if I can’t get my property or the payment for it, they will make sure no one gets access to it. Those things go up like tinder. Also NOT my option.

There are people living in it. I don’t want to harm.

Third option? MY choice! If the owner of two companies decides to threaten me financially? I WILL put that, the company names and his reason (using his native status and rez land to steal from me) on social media.

I have him audio recorded saying I couldn’t take my property back because it was on rez land. That is the option I will choose at about 5pm today if I have not heard back!