I have this bad habit off ‘mouthing off’ on Facebook. It doesn’t happen all the time but I do have some triggers.
Recently, an old high school friend, who was party to one of these interactions, messaged me privately afterward. She’s not on my Facebook friends list. She wanted me to know she was sorry if she offended me.
“I honestly didn’t see what started all that and thought you guys were just arguing about grammar and thought it was funny. Sorry if it offended you.”
To be honest it was about way more than grammar
It started on an entirely different thread. The one person called someone out on their grammar but had a spelling mistake in her comment. Also, she had nothing valid to say about the actual meme, except grammar policing it.
In my reply, I was just as petty and told her if she doesn’t have anything valid to say about the actual discussion except to use spelling mistakes to point out grammar errors maybe she should check herself and her arrogance.
Later that day, when she posted a grammar meme (the one my other friend saw), her sister replied with the direct quote, “Maybe you should check yourself and your arrogance LOLOLOLOLO”. I knew it was a dig at me. Whatever. Is”comment shaming ” a thing ? LOL
I use ‘LOL’ but I cared enough about how it made me feel and how it made me look to my previous peers to call them on it.
It’s a kind of cyberbullying on a small scale, so I pointed it out.
I’ve had a lot a bullshit and people talking shit about me through my life. Some of it is true and most of it is not. It came from family,’ friends’ and church. I just recently started to stand up for myself.
When I saw that as a direct attack? I may have overreacted. But it’s because I am already dealing from enough past and present bullying. And Mrs. Grammar? Well, she’s one of my past bullies, from grade school. She’s the first person that picked on me in the schoolyard and punched me. So it triggered me. So I called her a bully.
And maybe I should not have reacted the way I did. Because I was blocked by three people for it.
My whole point? WHY do I spout off? Why do I need to react to people when I can see it is petty and pointless? Should I just keep my opinions to myself? Are they that deplorable? How do I learn to hold my tongue?
allhoursblog 
Recently I found a phrase to tell myself that helps me from stepping in and speaking my mind every time someone says something I deem ignorant….”Its more about them than me”. Everyone has a perspective and reacts on what they believe and see, its what makes the world go round. Telling myself this helps somewhat, but still doesn’t stop me altogether. It just gives me time to think before reacting. Holding your tongue comes with the practice of “not sweating the small stuff”. Easier to say than to do!
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My best friend has tried to help me with the phrase, “If someone has a problem with you or your opinion it is THEIR problem, not yours”. Very similar to, “More them than me”.
I need to learn to hold my own opinion when I can already see it will not make difference. Like, not sweating the small stuff. And you are correct, it’s hard!
Thank you for encouraging my day with your kind words. They are appreciated.
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