I don’t meet other people’s peeps. Or at least I try not to. I’m not the GF to meet your mom or go to family events. I’m not the friend you invite to someone else’s party because you don’t want to go solo.
I have social anxiety and I will fail you as a friend, socially, more often than not. I also have multiple physical health issues that, when they raise their ugly heads in public, make me embarrassed so I don’t like to do it.
And? I get attached way too easily to the people I meet. Then I find myself with all these people I suddenly care even the slightest bit about and my mental energy is spread so thin I can’t focus on myself.
Last night? I attended a party with my friend. It was a simple, small dinner party at a restaurant. And sure enough? I immediately had strong emotional energy towards one particular couple there. The girl is interested in knowing me. Her husband seemed to be interested as well.
And I want to know them. Each for different reasons. But also together because watching them together was kind of magical. The way they are in love? I remember being that in love in my own situation. It was nothing they said or did (I barely spoke to them) but an energy coming off them. They have a connection.
When I noticed the picture on the wall across from me was crooked and it started my anxiety (yes, OCD shit like that CAN give me panic attacks)? They both expressed concern, not anything I would feel bad for.
I got through the evening. Meeting my friends peeps, OCD issues, puking my way through a meal in a public place.
And in the end? I really hope to get to know this couple. They have a special energy coming off them. That energy made what could have been an anxious evening a delightful one!