Paul and I got together in the most unconventional of ways. We fought hard for our relationship that still fell apart because we were/are both so broken. And now we are on a path back to marriage.
Through all of that damage? We love each other still. I can’t wait for my love to get home. I have a lot of great friends who care about me well. It’s nothing against them when I say I need my Paul back.
He IS my caregiver. Others care and offer help. But he knows how to react when I am sick. He knows what kind of sick needs what kind of help and he is RIGHT there. He knows that because he paid attention and loved me.
Others lived with me and never learned my health needs. They knew I had some and had vague awareness when I was in trouble. None could help.
Paul knows my needs. AND he reacts. He knows when I need a puke bucket and hair held or just a cold clothe and ice water to drink. He knows when I jump up in the night with leg pain that I need my calves rubbed and he jumps up to do it. Any new symptom? He’s on me to document it all. He is my caregiver.
Is it selfish that I want him to marry me so I have him to take care of me? There are so many things he loves about me that I don’t even love about myself. There are things he took me away from like a total hero. I’ve never felt a loved by anyone as I do by him.
He IS coming home to me. We ARE going to repair us. And one day soon he’ll be asking me to marry him for real. Because we have epic love!