NOTE: THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY AND IN NO WAY MAKING LIGHT OF CHILD SEXUAL SITUATIONS. IT’S JUST A PART OF SOMETHING THAT SHAPED ME
I am so grateful that Paul will take pictures of me, so self exposing, and has no issues (as my partner) with my sharing them into the world. He did remind me one day recently, “Shaunda, everyone in the world who reads your blog gets to see your cunt. Sometimes my friends read it.”
I looked at him and said, “I told you that pic was for my blog to show your point of view.” He agreed. “You know anyone who has my last name or my previous webcam name can find pictures of my pussy online already anyway?” Of course he does but he reminded me he has never searched for them himself.
I asked if he was upset about me showing it. It was a strange conversation but in the end I get the feeling he just wanted to remind me that online is forever and if I want anything private I shouldn’t put it online.
I assured him I have always wanted to show it.
My ‘privates’ have never been private. I shared them in church as a pre-schooler by exposing them every time people bowed for prayer. I let other kids touch them all the time while growing up. My ‘best friend’ and I used to look at and touch each others ‘privates’ on the regular when we were in kindergarten to grade 3.
As I grew older, got a bone disease and gained weight? I lost a body I wanted to show off. What I was left with was fantasy.
My fantasy ran wild with ideas of me being thin enough to be in the porn mags I read in the barn or stole from the store. I longed to be a stripper and would practice in my bedroom to the only music I was really allowed.
The Cathedrals. This is the link for the music. Build An Ark
Did you listen?
Now picture a slightly chubby, 11 year old girl. Her only desire is to have her pussy looked at. She has the most vague concept that ‘strippers’ take clothes off to music. Banished to clean her bedroom? She cranks her tunes on loud and while dancing around her bedroom she mimicks what she thinks a stripper would do.
I knew instinctively that ‘stripping’ should kind of go with the lyrics. I would make wild hammering motions, twirling like my figure skating lessons, ‘building my ark’ and getting naked out of my church approved culottes while my song played over and over (no, not repeat… rewind and replay LOL)
I’m pretty sure my stripping skills have improved but I think one day for comedic purposes I should get out my camera and tool belt and find some sexy way to ‘Build An Ark”