I decided to be daring. I stepped outside my realm of the norm when it comes to peopling. Tonight, I auditioned with a local theatre group for a spring 2018 production.
I’ve been into theatre as long as I can remember. I asked my parents to allow me to attend public school so I could pursue dramatic arts. It never happened.
I joined a drama team in college and was in a few plays. I had to get parts because it was a ‘credit course’ for me.
Then I had a professor/drama coach turn me off of it. I auditioned for a real play at my college. Dr. Fisk told me I was very skilled dramatically but I was too big for him to ever find a role for and if I thought I wanted theatre in my life I should choose it over food.
He was probably right. It was 22 years ago, I was obese and fat acceptance was not a thing. No one had roles for someone my size. Fat-shaming was normal and I was a gigantic target.
My theatre dreams ended there.
I read a very moving piece of work a few months ago and thought, “If I ever had the chance to do a reading at an open mic I would read this.”
Then? Across my Facebook feed comes an open call to audition for a play. I decided to go for it. The audition required a contemporary monologue. I chose the piece that had been so inspiring to me.
Tonight I went to my audition.
What an experience.
It was terrifying at first. I walked into a lobby full of accomplished actors and actresses that knew each other. One was man in three other plays in the area right now. They all knew the director personally and were talking about how hard he can be.
“If he doesn’t like you? You won’t finish your monologue. If he asks you to read from script? He likes you.”
I almost walked out because my anxiety was taking over. I was trembling as I went in.
It went GREAT! I don’t know that I will get a role. I realize now I am not nearly qualified for the role I wanted.
However? After my monologue the director turned to the casting person and said he thought I would be perfect for the role of Clara. A more minor role than I originally went for but I was thrilled he thought of me at all.
He pulled out a portion of the script I have never seen and asked me to read some things. I had a few moments to read and prepare. It was great because I was able to use the things on stage as ‘props’. ie. I sat on a stone to represent sitting on a bench, touched the top of a piece of wood that was nearby when ‘touching a table’.
In the end? He asked if I would be available for certain rehearsal dates. The woman there told me I did well and that I should be proud. I’ll know ‘whenever they decide’ if I get a part.
It doesn’t matter to me one bit if I land a part. It matters that I DID this. I stepped beyond past situations that hurt me, fought through my anxiety and took a huge, courageous step forward.
And I owned that monologue.