But… The SEX!


spread open

Paul and I both agree that our amazing sex always confuses any kind of break-up.

We argue and decide he is leaving but we want to be amicable. Neither one of us wants  to hurt the other. He packs but stays. The constant view of him packed to leave me makes me anxious 24/7. (just an anxiety/mental health thing)

And after two days of being pleasant to each other?  While we wait for him to be able to leave but not be homeless?

It gets confusing.

He can tell my broken ankle hurts so he wants to rub it. I can see his back hurts and I want to put pain cream on it. He rubs my feet, I rub his back,  I make us dinner,  he fixes the plugged drain…  then we laugh at the same time over an inappropriate joke. It all leads to intimacy.

The minute we lay a hand on each other? Arguments and disagreements be damned. Just a brush against each other can light us up. Suddenly all animosity is forgotten and all we want is to be in each others embrace.

We are each mad for the other’s body.

magnificent dick n abs

I love his lean, strong muscles and long arms that wrap all the way around me. I love how tall he is and that I feel small in his arms. I love his cock and how it gets hard when he’s rubbing my feet. I feel him getting hard against my ankles. I love the shape of his face. I love the way his eyes meet mine.

He has long fingers that do dark and dirty things to me. He’s so ‘long’ everywhere. His toes can touch mine while his one hand is buried in me and the other is tangled in my hair while he’s kissing my neck, my breasts. He covers me with himself.

I love his body.

I know he loves my body.

The way he grabs me makes my eyes roll back in my head. It’s like he grabs hold of everything I hate (my fleshy, flabbiness)  and as he pulls me toward him with that flesh in his grasp? He looks right in my eyes and tells me I am the sexiest woman ever. He appreciates I don’t hide the things I hate about myself from him. He loves my taste and smell. I feel like I want to give him every thing I have ever held back.

We do things ‘lights on’! He LOVES all the fleshiness and he wants to look at everything as he touches it.  The things I hate the most about my body are what he makes me feel the MOST sexy about.

For example?

As much as I display it? As much as I touch it? I kinda hate my pussy.

I’ve lost a lot of weight. I have hanging skin issues everywhere. I don’t shave as often as I should.

I made the mistake of picking up a granny porn mag once (just to flip through as a joke) and suddenly? I saw myself and my flabby body in those pics. It was awful. I see my own flabby body in the many pics I erase before finding that one to expose to the world.

But Paul makes me feel like a goddess. Every day. No matter what I look like naked on the other end of a camera. He gets hard touching my feet. My feet! And when he touches me, anywhere, I want to give him everything because I know he only sees beauty.

It’s very hard to live with someone who you are so sexually attracted to when you are trying to amicably break up.  We can’t resist and it leads to feelings like we can make up.

So, how much does sex really play in the role of a relationship? How do you let it go?



3 thoughts on “But… The SEX!

  1. That’s guite a dilemma you have there. Lust is a powerful emotion, but reality sets in after the sex is over. Sex is important and oh so wonderful but will not keep you together if it is not meNt to be. You can be happy without sex, and you can be happy being by yourself, but the choice of being together or apart should be made and comitted to before dislike starts setting in. That can be like a cancer that quickly eats you up. I’ve been down this road before and it didn’t turn out good. I loved her but didn’t much like her, but man she gave good head and I loved the sex. I had to give up both but it was for the better.
    In that pic of that buettiful muff (lack of a better word) of yours, it looks like Paul is ready to eat it. Lucky bastard! I’d like to spend a hour of my life exploring it.
    Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Paul finds you sexy and attractive but so will others. I do. Not just your body but your brain. Your brain is the sexiest part of your body.
    If you ever feel daring enough, I’d love to see a pic of your breasts. Just saying. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I appreciate the insight and you are not far off from what is going on. I’ll consider your remarks and write more about them because they warrant thought before response.

      As for the breast pics? I may have some already. I hated my breasts for a long time and then learned to love them naturally. Maybe I’ll write about that and post pics.

      Thanks so much for reading and responding!


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