Feeling Relieved

Paul is safe and staying with someone who came to gather his belongings. I feel confident this is over. I asked ‘if Paul had any medical messages that came to my phone could I pass them through that person’? He’s a very kind guy and he said that would be okay.

For the first time ever? I feel like this is really over.

I thought I would be in more tears. I thought his stuff being picked up today would agonize me but it didn’t. I was relieved. To know that even if I have important info for him it can go through another mediator was such an added relief.

He has a place and people who can help him. His life is up to him.

I want to move on and just take care of myself. I’m looking for a bigger space so I can have a bathtub to soak my pained legs and an electric oven so I can cook healthier.

I don’t use my propane stove/oven. Too small and propane scares me. So right now I make things in a slow cooker or fry pan I can plug in. Or someone lights my BBQ for me. I BBQ very well, just not the lighting part.

It’s time for me to just be alone and be Shaunda. For real. Without him contacting me and confusing how I feel about my life right now. I want to just take care of myself (health, finances, space, spirituality, etc). I can do it if I can be alone to work it out.

I really felt closure when his stuff got picked up. Peace. And definitely relieved.



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