Gaining Power From Losing It

I jotted a lot of notes about this, except the actual date it happened. It was the day before my ex left, I think. I just remember it was while he was still here and very recent.

I had plans to clean that day. And a few minutes after my ex left for work? The power went out. Not just my breaker, for the park.

No internet. No lights. No cooking. No coffee. No hot water or power so? No cleaning. I went to the office to see if it was a glitch. But turns out they knew the day before that we would be without power for the entire day because of a BC Hydro thing.  Guess I forgot to mention no notice either. I was so angry. SO angry.

Until?

I figured the universe needed me to learn something. I took some deep breathes, lit a candle and decided it would be a GREAT time to read a card for myself. I pulled a card that told me I need to be more grounded. It actually says in the ‘book’ that comes with the cards that ‘you’ve been spacey and  need to focus’.

I went outside and planted my bare feet on the ground. I focused my energy on trying to figure out my day. Literal grounding practice.

When it got a bit chilly? I came in and decided to work on a piece of artwork I have had in my head for a while. I coloured. Then I remembered I still had music.

(One thing I came to appreciate about my ex was his love for chargeable/portable electronics. I had the iPod ‘n’ Bose fully charged and wireless.)

So there I was drawing, and then dancing, when I got a knock at my door.

My drumming friend. Yep, what an ironic day for him to come and bring some spiritual peace to my life. We talked and shared for a while. I read his cards, too. Made plans to see each other again.

It was sunny (noted in my notebook LOL) so I went outside and gardened. I had an afternoon fire and I prepared for the coming full moon by meditating on my intentions at that moment.

I had to read notes to remember the details of the day. What I can’t get out of my memory? Is how much personal power I felt at the end of that day.

Losing ‘power’ gave me so much personal power because I made choices to do positive, healthy things. I created, meditated, danced, gardened, made full moon intentions.

Looking back? I know I needed it for what was coming. And I am grateful.

So? How do I bring myself to do that without losing power? I loved it so much and yet I don’t choose it unless forced?

I’m gonna work on that!

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