I don’t have a lot of local friends. Some I call acquaintances. But so many have hurt me or mine at this point that I don’t have a lot of care for them.
I have one friend on the island that I know I can count on. That kind you can call 24/7 and know they have your back? I have one. Bury the body style? This person is my friend.
My ex was jealous because of my own past indiscretions AND his inability to forgive. I understand. But I still needed a friend. You don’t give up the ‘I’ll go to the grave for you’ kinda friend. (My friend would hate I say this ’cause he’s a guy, but, like a sister)
I don’t make friends quickly or easily with women. However when I do find a woman I can connect with as a friend (not just lust) I hold hard. It’s hard for me. And when I live in a trailer park? Kinda hard to find what I am looking for in a sister.
I mean, no judgement is intended there because I live in a trailer park, too. Just saying it’s probably not going to be where I find the quality of friends who will help me move forward. That’s just my most recent experiences are telling me.
One of my efforts to show my ex I was trying to make other friends was to make a Facebook event on a local group and invite women for a Ladies Night. Oh yeah. Anxiety ridden me? I invited the general public to my home so I could prove to him I don’t just want man friends.
He was gone the next day.
And now I have this event that other women got excited about. One I am inclined to cancel because, really, the timing? But also inclined to keep because, really, the timing?
I decided not to cancel. I have also decided I don’t care if anyone shows up. If anyone who has said they will show does? It’s because I need a sister friend right now and they were probably meant to be it.
I can’t believe I am NOT cancelling this.