Pro? Life? Choice? Birth?

That having a baby thing?

I am all for pro-creation and I want to see more people my age and younger pro-creating than not. I especially want to encourage people who feel like their race is dying out to pro-create.

However? I chose not to do that. Why? I have health issues. They make it difficult for me to commit to anything long term, like kids. Also? I come with medical history that I am challenged by and could be passed on. If I can’t deal with it? How could I help a child?

I made a choice not to have children. While I was in surgery for other reasons I asked my doctor to give me a tubal ligation. Because I am pro-life and I would rather fix myself than abort a fetus. That is my choice.

My choices and beliefs are my own. I believe science says life is life the second it begins to duplicate itself. Cell level. I won’t take a human life.

However? I’ve gone into abortion surgeries with friends because that is their choice and they needed a friend at their side. I went without judgement and I supported them through recovery.

So am I pro-life because of what I believe or pro-choice because of what I support? I guess choice. Because even though it’s not my choice I would never try to stop another person for theirs.

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UPDATE

Okay, so within minutes of posting my post about being harassed at the grocery store?

I received a message from the website people I sent it to. All kinds of apologies. Ken was chastised (and I was told he is apologetic) and my information was sent to head office.

Additionally? The person responding recognized me as being someone who has previously praised their store. In my message she saw my anxiety.

Carina. She assured me I was not wrong. She apologized for QF and sent Ken’s personal apology. She let me know the website was corrected because I brought it to there attention. She offered me the money back I had spent on BOTH pack of paper towel.

How she went ABOVE AND BEYOND? In her reply she told me she can see I don’t want any more confrontation so she will make arrangements for my refund to be in an envelope at customer service with my name. She also gave me the schedule of the person who intimidated me. So I can shop there and avoid him until I am comfortable again.

She recognized my health issues related to my complaint. She responded in kind care and understanding of the customers perspective.

I guess in the long run? Quality Foods has some extraordinary staff. One bad experience does not define them. Responding to it with such diplomacy is what makes my local grocery store the best!

How Do They Not Get It?

Oh my gods the anxiety today!!

I took the chance of trying to dispute something on a receipt. Innocent question and I was okay with a ‘no’. But then mental chaos for me.

How am I stronger for it? I wrote this letter to the store management:

I’m writing to tell you about an unfortunate experience I had at the Qualicum Beach Quality Foods store this morning.

On April 4 I purchased paper towels. I had secured the ‘Buy 1 Get 1 Free’ deal on my Rewards Card because I saw the picture of the paper towels I use. I picked them up according to the picture.  Econo paper towels.

When I reviewed my bill after I got home? I discovered the discount had not been applied. I looked on the website to make sure I had picked up the right item and discovered a discrepancy. The picture was Econo towels and the description was for Ultra towels.

Today, April 5, I came back to the store with my receipt and my laptop with a visual of the ad and I approached the cashier, Lisa.

As Lisa looked into it I pointed out the ad discrepancy and told her the fault might be mine. However I thought it was misleading. She seemed to think I was correct about being overcharged (based on the picture of the ad and my receipt) but could not work it out in the computer. I told her I just want to make sure any mistake on the website was corrected.

She could not work things out at the till so she asked for a supervisor to come over.

Ken.

I barely had my concern out of my mouth before he told me I purchased the wrong product. The one on the deal is single roll and I purchased double. I tried to tell him I was aware I that might be the problem (purchasing the wrong item) but tried to point out the ad issue. He ignored my concern about the ad and told me again the ad was for single roll, not double roll. He added, “There is a difference”. I pointed out the misleading picture that said nothing about size. He re-iterated for a third time the special was for single roll, not double.

At that point I mentally tried to disengage and thanked him, told him I understood his position. He tried again to explain and I cut him off and told him I understood and he could leave.

At no time did I raise my voice. I wasn’t asking for compensation. If I was wrong in purchase I only wanted the website corrected so it wasn’t so misleading. I only raised a concern. One that Lisa understood and tried to help with.

But Ken? He assumed what I wanted. Assuming I wanted compensation he offered to have me bring in the wrong paper towels for a refund. I explained I usually walk to town and got the deal because I had a ride. And also because I needed paper towel so some had already been opened. Return was not an option. That was one of the points he tried to remind me I bought the wrong ones. I asked him to leave the conversation because he could not stop explaining how I was wrong over and over after I already understood. I was being made to feel stupid.

After he finally walked away I thanked Lisa for her time and help. I went over to the isle where the paper products were and I looked at the paper towels.

Both sizes were mixed. It’s probably because of customers. They looked like they should be separate on the shelf but they weren’t. The product packaging is identical, except for fine print, and easily mixed up. I took out my laptop to compare the ad with the shelf.

It’s as I was examining this and realizing how easily I could have made the mistake? Ken came up behind me. He startled me by reminding me again that I purchased the wrong size. I told him I understood what he said and was looking at it for myself.

It’s when he started to tell me for a fifth time I’d purchased the wrong size that I asked him to stop treating me like I am stupid. He tried to assure me he wasn’t. I asked him how repeating the same thing I already said I understood wasn’t treating me like I was stupid and I asked him again to leave me alone so I go about my shopping.

I have anxiety. I was shaking after that encounter. I felt threatened. I felt harassed and belittled. I felt like ‘the ‘dumb’ woman must need this explained over and over’ even though I told him I understood. When he came up behind me? I was startled. I was only trying to confirm what he said but he took it as an opportunity to harass me further about an issue I had already conceded on. I had to go sit down in the little cafeteria before I could continue my shopping.

I wasn’t doing anything wrong so why was a manager following me around after I asked him to leave me alone?  All I did was try to bring up a concern. Point out a possible web issue and see if I was warranted some money back.

After all of that? I got home to write this concern to you and found that deal has been updated. It no longer says Ultra towels. It’s Econo, single size! I wasn’t wrong. The ad was wrong. And I was belittled, harassed and made to feel stupid by an employee who’d rather prove himself correct than investigate something.

I have written wonderful things about QF before. It’s the only place I can walk to shop. I love the points program. I’ve had other concerns that were addressed professionally and promptly.

However? Going forward I’m re-organizing how I shop to ensure I spend the least amount of money I can in your store. I will be taking my shopping elsewhere for any major purchasing. And wherever I have said good things about Quality Foods I will now be sure to share this story about how your employees harass customers to the point of anxiety even when the customer was at least partially correct!

 

So, yeah, that happened today. I felt crushed as it was happening but sat. I ate eggs in their cafeteria and got out unscathed. Really? The majority of the people there are amazing. But I really never want to see that man again.

The Christian Easter

So many things about celebrating Easter as a Christian confused me when I was a child.
 
Like, why is the holiday (as in the day off work/school, celebration style) on the day he was crucified? Why was is called Good Friday? Not Sad Friday or Bad Friday? Seems more appropriate to have the ‘holiday’ on the day he rose and call it Good Sunday.
 
But that raises an entirely different question. Because the death is honoured on the Friday but the resurrection is celebrated on Sunday. My math be off with all this new common core math stuff but I’m pretty sure that’s two days, not three.
One could argue ‘he rose on the third day’ and Sunday was the third day if Friday was the first.
But I always understood Christ’s death to be long and agonizing. It wasn’t something that happened early in the day. And we always celebrated his resurrection as a sunrise kind of occasion. Late Friday to sunrise Sunday is NOT three days. That always baffled me.
 
When I was in church? I never understood how chocolate, eggs and rabbits played into any of it. Ironically, knowing what I know now, the eggs and rabbits part would have been more interesting to me but Christians don’t really know why those are there.
 
Lastly? It’s never on the same date. They ascribed his birth a regular day (Dec 25). How can you be honouring someone’s ‘death’ if it’s not a particular day? As a kid in church I felt like people just picked a weekend to talk about Jesus death. That his birth was important enough it happened on the same day every year and we all got presents.
But his death? That part you told me was the most important part because he gave his life for my sins so I could escape eternal damnation? That most important and relevant day in your religious history? It doesn’t warrant a stagnant date? Accurate time frame? And why would you bring anything pagan (like eggs and rabbits) into your “Christian” holiday?
 
I wish everyone a wonderful spring!

Blessed Eostre

So it’s Good Friday. The day we all get a day off work to celebrate killing Jesus. I always wondered why we got his death as a holiday but not the resurrection. One of my many confusions about Christianity. However that is another subject for another time.
March 21/22 is the marking of Spring. Everything is turning green and it is time to plant. The days are getting warmer as the sun is longer in the sky. What an incredible thing to celebrate.
And celebrate we did!
It was incredibly special to have a Spring feast with my landlord. We both are inclined to celebrate seasons, not ‘holidays’, so today I went up to her place and we made and old-fashioned, traditional Spring Feast. 
Wild meat taken by her son who harvested it respectfully and gifted it to his mother. I can’t wait to meet him. We made a delicious Elk stew. And we made it on fire. Yes, we used the wood stove to cook today. Tradition ❤
Her property manager’s daughter was there for a time. I had such a terrific time teaching that bright young lady what we were doing. She helped me manage the fire, learned how to make bannock and was very pleased with the book I gave her as a gift (yes, some ‘tweens’ still appreciate books). We talked about school and how she prefers to ride horses than study. Old fashioned.
Everyone who passed through the home today was welcome at the table. Shared harvests make for bounty. We shared food, shared wine and shared amazing conversation. We have such amazing conversations.
On so many levels my landlord is a woman I admire.
 
Some people can look to mothers and other older women for guidance. I never really had a woman in that capacity that wasn’t preaching to me. Until her.
 
My landlord welcomes me to her home to teach me the old ways from the land around us. She wants to celebrate the seasons with everyone around her.
She has all the tools, space and knowledge to teach me growing, harvesting and canning. And at 82 she still wants to learn new things. We’re going to learn how to make Honey Mead together this summer. Our drink when fall harvest comes and we celebrate the Autumn Equinox together will be our mead.
Spring, Eostre, is the time for beginning. Fresh starts. Planting. Looking forward.
I hope everyone has had as blessed a season as I have!

New Dentist

I have new dentist!!

I’ve been in pain for a few days. I had a broken, rotten molar that was giving me headaches and becoming infected.

I don’t have dental coverage under any of my insurance things. Seems dentists around here aren’t quick to help unless you have insurance or cash up front. No one take payments anymore. Even if things are an emergency.

However, I remembered a dentist I’d heard of that helps people in need and I looked him up online. I called. They wanted to make the appointment right away but I asked about cost, etc. I told them my situation and all the money I had for this. The receptionist told me to come in regardless of my circumstances because the doctor was kind.

So I went.

He extracted my tooth without pain. AND he described everything he was doing and what I could expect to hear or feel as he did it. His assistant held my hand and he kept telling me how great I was doing (like I was giving birth to a tooth LOL).

My appointment today should have cost me around $600. They knew I was financially challenged for that kind of payment all at once. They asked what I had.

I had $120 to offer and said I was willing to make payments (something they don’t do). The dentist decided to do my procedure for the $120. Nothing else would be owed because this was an obvious emergency.

I asked them what it would have cost and they came up with a price that was discounted in many ways and the total came to $290. I made a proposition! If I pay the balance of the bill, instead of taking it as a gift, would they work with me to get help for my teeth on my budget.

And they said yes! They told me they don’t usually take payments but they could see my earnest desire to get my tooth health under control. They will continue to offer me the discounted rate they gave me today.

When I go back to pay the balance next week? He’s going to book me an appointment for a full exam, etc.

I suddenly have this amazing dentist and I am so grateful!

Karma Jail

I know I did some bad things in my past. Hurt people. I went from being a very kind and caring person to being someone who used others and abused friendships. I made some bad karma. Then for a long time life was shitting on me.
I saw the correlation but I ignored it for the longest time. I pushed the last of the people who cared about me away and I ended up alone.
 
However, the universe must have known that is what I needed. I used that time to heal. Reflect. I used that as an opportunity to turn myself into a better person. And while I was still being crapped by life and people? I maintained my efforts to be good and kind.
 
It worked! I feel like my time in karma jail has been served and my kindness’ are being rewarded.
I found my dream home with an epic landlord and property manager. They make me feel like family.
I reached out online to find some used furniture for cheap because everything was built into my RV I gave away. People who read my story all along the way? Reached out and gave me some really cool stuff. A leather couch that sorta of matches my recliner and looks great in here. And? A king size bed. She said it was her guest room bed and was never really used but seeing the kindness I gave others made her want to give me the bed.
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All good karma right? But it doesn’t stop there!
I went to garage sale today. I spent $8 on a lamp, a piece of art and I bought a book for the property manager’s little girl because she likes horses.
I guess karma thought I didn’t get enough for my $8. As we were driving back through town we passed what we thought was another garage sale and we stopped. Not a sale. FREE. She was downsizing her cabin, boat and RV so she was giving away everything I could see.
I now have a beautiful wooden wine rack that matches the wood in my cabin. Mixing bowls, the good kind with rubberized bottoms. A marble cutting board that matches the kitchen and makes it ‘pop’. Storage containers, cookie sheets, plates…   and she told me to come back tomorrow and she will have more for me.
Yep, I’ve definitely been released from karma jail. The nice thing about good behaviour on release from karma jail? Karma rewards!

Moving Day

My moving day is right around the corner and I am so excited.  The previous tenants vacated a few days early so the property manager has graciously allowed me to begin bringing over my outdoor things and anything that can be stored in the outdoor shed while she cleans and readies the cabin. I pick up my keys and take possession tomorrow! With all the advance moving? I should be moved over and nesting before dinnertime!

Someone from a local Facebook group offered me a couch that is going to be perfect for the space. It matches the recliner I already have and she is able to help deliver it the day I move in.

Admittedly, getting the outdoor stuff cleaned up has been exhausting. Things under my RV gooseneck were mudcaked on the bottom. Trying to clean mud off to transport things, while still in a muddy, wet yard, was a challenge but I was lucky to have good help.

My freezer was filthy and rusted from being outside in the rain for two years. However, I washed it up and a friend with more muscle power than I can muster removed all the rust. It’s not quite ‘new’ looking but I’ll throw a coat of spray paint on it and it will look like much less of an eyesore!

Digging around under my RV? I discovered some tools I never knew I had. Different friends offered me tools for gardening over the years and they were just put under the RV. I have a hoe, a spade and an old school hand tiller. All heritage tools in great condition.  There is a nice size axe and a smaller hatchet for splitting firewood for my big outdoor firepit.

So many things are coming together to make this the easiest move I have ever had. Thanks to everyone who been such an encouragement to me throughout the struggle of finding a new home. Your positive energy helped light the way!

Tales Of The Travelling RV

When my RV was gifted to me? It already had a history.

Someone bought it and then had to leave it behind as ‘payment of rent owed’. The new owner rented it out to someone in need for only the cost of pad rent. When she left the situation he did the same for me. When I was alone and felt insecure? He gifted it to me so I would always have a home.

I met the couple who originally gutted it and made it the beautiful open concept it is now. They sold it to “payment owed guy” for a bargain because they had a baby and needed more space. This RV has a beautiful history of people being helped.

It’s had it’s ups n downs! I’ve struggled with it and rather than struggle anymore? I found new housing!

However, in the spirit of kindness, I posted my running down RV on the same website I found my place. I posted it ‘as is’ and was honest about it’s condition. I may have even been over-dramatic about it’s issues.

I’m so happy that someone saw it and contacted me. His sister needs a place. Her rental was sold and she will be homeless at the end of the month. He is VERY handy and rebuilt an entire wall of an RV once so my minor issues are completely within his range of helping her fix up. He told me he was delightfully surprised at it’s condition. He was super grateful.

It was gifted to me without transfer papers. I gave him the name of Mike, who gave it to me, so he could see if he could get papers. Turns out? He already knows the kind man who gave me my home. Paperwork won’t be an issue.

I gifted it to them. He promised me he would fix it up really nice for her and once she is back on her feet? They will gift it forward and let me know who it goes to.

My tiny RV, that has already seen lifetimes of kindness, is going to move on to improvement and be a home for people who need for a long time.

Welcome Home!

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This is the patio/garden area of my new home!

It’s a gorgeous little cottage in the woods. I have a nice little kitchen with an open concept to the living room. Nice size bathroom. Nice size bedroom with good closet space. Beautiful deck and patio for gardening with a gorgeous little shed for my tools.
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It’s six minutes closer to town and I can still catch a bus when I need to. The owner lives on the property in a house she built from the trees on it. She was 50 when she started her dream and this little cottage was something she had brought to the land to live in while she built. She is 82 now. The cottage is a walk down a wooded path from her giant house but I have my own driveway so guests won’t need to disturb her if I have someone over. She goes to the same aquatic class as I do at the pool. She has another lady who acts as the property manager for her and that lady is amazing as well.
This really is the perfect place. Right price, wonderful landlords and it’s like my childhood fantasy setting. I’m over the moon for the end of the month and making my way to my new home.