He Changed Me

I do not regret my time I spent with my ex.

He changed my life in so many ways. He helped me out of hard drugs. He and I had the most adventurous times of our life together. He started me on a path to learn about music. He showed me how to start a chainsaw. He took pictures of me when he thought I wasn’t looking because he thought I was beautiful. He taught me things that helped me see politics from other angles. He accepted my craziness most of the time. He let me have freedom to do what I want. He spent a decade with me and it is part of who I am.

Hold up… “he let me have freedom”?

That is exactly the ideology I needed to let go of. “Letting me” do anything makes anyone the wrong one for me.

It took the final break-up for me to feel like I could be free. Not free of him, free of my own commitment to a relationship which was already unhealthy for so many reasons from both sides of the equation.

I will always be grateful for my time with him. He changed me.

I’m laying any thoughts about him to rest now. I hope that with meditation he never crosses my mind again.

Let’s Talk About Change

Yep. I need to make some changes in my life.

We all know Shaunda drinks. Cutting back might be a change. We all know Shaunda is a slut. Not filling a void with meaningless sex might be a change. We all know Shaunda likes to take filthy pics or any pics and post them whenever or wherever. I’m pretty sure that will only change by type of pictures.

So, Happy New Year. I have made some decisions about my next year and I want to write about them.

My blog might become less sexual. That’s a goal, not a promise.

I really want to write about transforming my life. I got away from a repressed and abusive relationship. I stayed away. And I explored whatever was out there to have and behold. In all of that? I stayed sober from hard drugs when they were offered. I continued to be a self sustained person. I met wonderful people who will be lifelong friends. I renewed relationships with family and friends from my past. I didn’t just survive, I thrived.

Thriving gives me hope for the coming year.

As a thriver I plan to continue to change. Slow down on the alcohol for sure. I cut off the drive-by sex guys in favour of ones who want to at least spend a bit of time. I got an elliptical machine to help with the weight I have gained. I plan to blog about that process with before, during and after pictures. Just doing it on my own with a poor person budget. I hope it will help others. And I want to reconnect with more people from my past who love and support me as I am and where I am at.

Happy New Year to anyone who reads this. I hope you find ways to thrive.


WARNING: This post contains xxx verbiage and pics. Please read it only if you like that.

I’ve been on a path to try as many new things as I can this summer and yesterday I was delighted to get to experience Shibari.

What is Shibari?

Shibari, also known as Kinbaku, is a form of Japanese artistic rope bondage. The word translates to ‘to tie’ or ‘to bind’ and refers to intricate and beautiful knots and patterns used to restrain and give sensation to the body. I think of it like erotic macrame.

I was nervous about the idea of being restricted however I have a trusted friend who is experienced and wanted to practice his knots. It was fantastic!

We started with wrist wraps so I could get used to how long it takes for all the knots and get me used to the feel of the ropes on my skin. and once I was comfortable we graduated to a basic chest harness.

I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. Not only the feeling of restriction but all of the sensations as you are being tied. He was very gentle. The ropes were tight but he regularly checked to make sure I was comfortable and relaxed. The feel of his hands brushing against my erogenous zones was titillating. I found some of the different things particularly turning me on.

He likes to do rope on flesh so we tried another chest one.

A lot of people associate Shibari with BDSM. It doesn’t have to be but it can. I let him restrain my wrists and ankles.

And a corset.

And lastly, not all knots are rope. He tried a chain chest harness on me first his time.

It took us around 5 hours to try all the variety of things. I really had fun and we will totally be doing this again. He has a playroom so we might take it there and put me on suspension hooks…..

Shibari. Who knew? Another one off the fucket list.

The Dance Off

I’m a bit known for always having my headphones on in public. And always dancing to whatever is playing. I get commented on, offered rides, honks n waves. But today was the first ever throw down LOL

I was at the bus stop, grooving to my tunes while I waited. Across the highway, in the parking lot, was some kind of bottle drive. I wasn’t paying too much attention.

Until some hippie in a hoodie, with a man bun, was suddenly on the boulevard and he was dancing.

I thought he was making fun of me because he mimicked every move. Then I realized he was challenging me. I would do something and he would copy it. He would do something but it was way more fancy than I can pull off. But I tried.

We had a dance off for ten minutes as a crowd gathered to watch it and people in the traffic between us honked and waved.

When my bus came? Everyone on the other side of the highway waved at me. I blew them kisses.

Best experience ever!

Who Wants To Hear About The Orgy?

WARNING: This post contains explicit pictures and verbiage. Please don’t read it if you don’t like this kind of writing.

I have a really terrific woman in my life. We play together. Share our men. We get along great. She is older than I am. Like 60. But she is sexy and has a pussy I envy. It’s the tightest lil’ thing I have ever pushed my fingers in.

Recently, she coordinated a party. I attended, brought my favourite playmate and so much fun ensued.

Over the evening there was four men and us two girls.

And, of course, I pleased her well.

I lapped at her pussy as she rode cock after cock. The above pic is of me eating her ass while she is riding her fave guy.

Big D was there. He likes to sit and watch us get cream-filled before he takes his turn. He’s loves sloppy seconds. Thirds…. I’m pretty sure it was him who kept saying, “Switch” every few minutes as her and I were face to face on the bed. Kissing, laughing and loving every minute of these men spoiling us.

Slutty? For sure. But I’m kind of blessed to have a good group of guys who don’t treat me like a whore. They make me feel beautiful and sexy as they take their turns on me. And my girlfriend is such a fun and sexy goddess. I’m sure we will have more tales to tell in the future for sure!

Relationships (AKA Who I’m Fucking ) Update

Okay, so I am still dating Forest Gump. Also dating a cop (that looks like Mario from Donkey Kong). Had a date with the grocery store meat guy (I want the best cuts of meat LOL) but turns out he doesn’t eat pussy. So that’s a no. I’ve seen Big D. The orgy? I’ll write an entirely different post about that one.

The only person I have not seen in a long time? Is the one I want the most.

Forest Gump – He’s completely daft. He has already told me I am the perfect woman for him. I told him that is not true. I made it clear, again, he does not know me well enough to say that. He buys me odd but thoughtful gifts. Looms and wool so I can make toques. A Nintendo backpack. I don’t like video games but this is actually kind of a cool pack. He wants me to meet his family. He unloaded all that on the third date. It was date two when he said he loved me LMAO.

He does fuck like a champion. He’s eager to please me in any way I want. He gives foot rubs. He eats pussy, well. Nice cock even if it’s average. But he is also open to anything I suggest.

Also, a Mormon. He has this sex vs sin thing that affects him. Sometimes it is hot and other times not so much.

Mario (cop, so maybe Super Mario) – He likes to hike. He took me to a nude river. He’s kind. Even if I don’t feel like fucking he will drive the hour to see me anyway. He took me garage saling (a passion of mine) and I found amazing things.

He’s an eager lover. Wants to please. Average cock. Seriously open minded. There are some things I want to explore with him. However, I have yet to feel passion. That could be my fault for not really expressing what I need when I am with him. I’m bad for that.

We did hangout together recently where we spent our first night together in the same bed. He doesn’t snore and he doesn’t try to over-cuddle. Bonus points for that!

Big D – I don’t see him as much as I’d like but I do still see him. See the post titled Big D if you want the details LOL

Still I miss my favourite guy. He’s been busy and sick and whatever else excuse. I never gave him a nickname like the others. I hear from him every once in a while. Like once a week maybe a text. And see him every two weeks or sometimes three. A far cry from every day and night like last Spring. He tells me why he can’t or doesn’t see me. I am choosing to believe what he shares with me. I want to be compassionate. But I miss him.

The sex? He gets me off every time we get sexy. He’ll do whatever. He joins me on playdates. He is so open to everything. Great cock. Waking up to him, either his bed or mine, is my favourite.

What I crave from him though? I want to hear him sing to me. I want him to play obscure albums for me while we cook epic, healthy food together. I want to fall asleep on his couch as we watch classic movies on VHS.

So that is the update. Who I’m fucking and who I am not. Of course it doesn’t include the one-off’s. They’ll each get a story when I am up to writing more.


When it come to dating where do you compromise?

Looks? Super nice, cute guy but has more body hair than you like. That’s a compromise. Maybe he’s super crazy about his man-bun you want to chop off but he’s generous and kind to everyone around you. Do you compromise?

Maybe you are a ‘princess’ type that needs to be spoiled and he doesn’t quite make the bankroll for that. But he’s chivalrous enough to plan a date that is romantic and within his budget. Do you compromise?

I find those things easy to compromise on.

I can’t date someone who’s lacking in intelligence. If I use the word ‘derogatory’ and you need to ask what that means? That is where I cannot compromise. I am never the most smart person in the room, however, I can’t make myself dumb down to have a conversation.

I had a wonderful date with a really nice guy. He was romantic, kind and so funny. However I realized quickly I couldn’t use big words around him.

He didn’t know what ‘inundated’ meant. He had no clue what I meant when I referred to someone as a snowflake. He was clueless about any current affairs. (I don’t watch TV or MSM and I am still moderately caught up) (Oh, and I had to tell him was MSM is)

He was a super nice, cute guy. We had fun together and he taught me a new crafting skill. I would be okay with hanging out as friends but he made it clear he’s looking for more.

If I am not willing to compromise about intelligence… how do I tell him WHY I can’t see him anymore?

What Is The Best Compliment You’ve Ever Received?

**Names in this have been slightly changed!!

The best compliment I ever received? Is a story in itself.

When I was a 14 yr old I wasn’t as super cool as I am today. Dumpy, frumpy, nerdy and felt bullied at school.

I took it well and even developed the nickname Shaundiluv.

One day the principal called me to his office and told me they were taking a new girl who was leaving her old school. She had a issues with appearance and was bullied so much at her previous school.

He told me he had spoke to ‘Felix’ (the most popular guy at school) to ask how this girl could transition to our school without suffering the same way. Apparently Felix told him, “Introduce her to Shaunda. She’s the most kind and compassionate person I know.” And then my principal asked if I would be the girl’s friend.

I decided that day to live my life by rule of kindness and compassion. Pretty great compliment.

Second part to the story?

About a year ago I met a new friend and we hang out quite a bit. One day a couple months ago he looked at me and said, “Do you know what I like about you? It doesn’t matter where we are or the situation… everybody leaves interactions with you with a smile on their face. You’re kind to everyone.”

It made me feel like my most important life goal had been achieved. And THAT was actually the best compliment I ever received. 🙂

Spooning At It’s Finest

I’ve always wanted to involve food in my play.

Last night when my main playmate asked me if I wanted dessert? I told him yes. Did he have ice cream? Of course he did because he loves sweet things.

Neapolitan. Kind of boring and I teased him. “You could have thrown a little difference in there with green. Be Spumoni in a Neapolitan world LOL Neapolitan is where every form of boring ice cream collides.”

He asked sincerely how he could make it better.

I told him I have never had ice cream eaten off me and have always wanted to do food play.

He grabbed a bowl n spoon n towel.

He put the towel on the couch. I laid back as he spread my thighs. At first he just dripped a bit of ice cream all around my thighs. I told him it was cold and he licked it all off warming me up.

It was then he began to drip it onto my clit and lick. Suddenly more ice cream was on the spoon and he rubbed it up and down my lips as I squirmed from the Brrr.

I thought it was fun and sexy. I never thought there could be more.

However, he suddenly had this giant spoon full of ice cream. He spread my pussy wide as he could and put the spoon in. Then he lapped up everything that dripped out while he used the spoon to fuck and stretch me.

It was a lot of ice cream. He licked and tongued everywhere that cream dripped. All while spoon fucking me.

I started moaning and squirming. And for the first time in a long time? I was suddenly squirting all over his face.

We decided Neapolitan plus Shaunda? Is called Cumoni.

Double Stuffed

WARNING: This post contains XXX pics and verbiage. Please only read it if you like this kind of smut reading LOL

I’ve never been shy to say I like to be filled up.

While many partners have told me they have no idea how my tiny box can take such a stuffing? It can. There is a week of the month that my precious pussy will take anything you want it to. I can never be full enough. My body is trying to get pregnant, even though I am fixed, and suddenly I need to get fucked hard and filled up. It’s nature.

Mr. Corvette caught me on one those days tonight. He fucked me just fine but he could tell I needed something more.


His cock is awesome and super satisfying. He knows how to use it for sure. But he could just tell. And he asked. “What can I do to make sure you are getting all you want tonight?”

I told him I needed more than just his dick.

At first I suggested fingers, as many as he could get in. Then I told him he should shove his cock in and wrap fingers around it to jerk off in me. When none of it was enough? He asked if he could shove a toy in with it.

Double stuffed.

We grabbed my largest toy and did it with both. I have never done that before.


I was so full. I started to cum immediately. My toy is very big so we needed a bit of extra lube. He got it in me so well. He came and kept fucking me until we both came again. He told me he thinks I am so hot when I am cumming.

And then he was gone again LOL I will see him in the next couple days for another round. It’s so hot when he comes by to visit me. And he promised to bring me a new bigger toy. I’m spoiled 🙂