Awake

The guy who offered the meth last time and I was told it was coke?

He found a way to connect with me outside of the things I blocked. And I am such a fucking moron. Sucker. User. Addict.

He only came over for sex. Not the greatest dick but he does other things well. He played with toys with me. He made sure I was certainly satisfied.

But he also did lines in front of me and left a plate of meth in my home.

We played and then he had to leave.

So at this moment? I am staring at lines of meth on my counter.

I want to wash them down the drain.  I really want to. I called a friend who will hopefully be able to come over in the middle of the night and take care of them.

Who thought staring at meth could keep you as awake as having done it? This is torture.