Growing Old

We all get old. It’s not sexy.

I’m 42, been hitting on menopause because of my heath issues. Meno? She’s a fucking fabulous wonder. Meno. Lucky me I’ve had all the hormonal crap, pain in tits crap…  just won’t stop bleeding.

In the past weeks? I have met my share of older men. I love them.

Men over 70? When I say I like wine? They show up with enough I can drink and save a bottle. I have a growing wine cooler LOL

Beyond that?

They just want to have a glass of wine with me. They tell me about their wives. Dementia. Alzheimers. Dry box from old age. They show me pictures of their grandchildren. One even said he wished his grandson could find a woman as KIND as me.

In the end? Everyone needs touch. One of the reasons older people fall hard and fast  toward death as age hits? No one touches them unless it’s to change a diaper.

They lose their lovers to age. They are so alone.


I’ve used that word a lot lately. I feel alone.

Sluts get to have people around but they never have people stay. Sluts are lonely, too.

I know what it is like to feel alone.

When these men come to me? They think they want sex. More often than not? They have a glass of wine with me. And they tell me about their wife. And they cry as I hold one hand while they use the other to jerk off. I kiss their penis as they cum on my face.

And they cry. And they apologize. And they are so kind.

I tell them they should not feel ashamed. They are safe to be sexual around me and not feel like they are a bad man. That being able to experience them was a pleasure for me. And I tell them to go visit their wife right after. While they are still glowing from cumming on someone and feeling like a man.

I get my hugs and kisses that way.

I don’t always need a dick. I love the hugs from men who are growing older and just need someone to make them feel like a man for a moment.

Screwing The Milkman


The milkman? They don’t even have them anymore so you can tel how old he is by his nickname. I asked him what I should call him in my blog. He said he was a milkman back in the day. The olden golden days LOL

Yes. I bring sex to seniors.  They love a sweet ‘young’ thing like me giving them attention. And when I follow through on my flirting? It blows there fucking minds. It’s that reaction to my willingness I think is so cool. Seeing their delight as they get to see younger pussy for the first time in how many years? Feeling them drool all over me.

His shaky fingers, thick with arthritis? Yep, they got me off last night. And the dirty dog forgot his spectacles here so he is coming back today. He asked very politely if he could lick me again. Also asked if he could bring me wine. Old men are chivalrous that way.

So, apparently, I’ll be taking the milkman into my mix of men. Hopefully he keeps me filled up on cream!


My Teddy Bear

The great thing about dating several men, or having friends with benefits, is you can have all your needs met.

For example? Pussy Pro comes over, eats and fingers me while he is jerking off and then cums on me wherever he wants. It’s a certain kind of relationship that will only ever be that. I have another friend who likes to talk to me about all my dirty escapades. He likes the details and calls me his good lil’ slut. Good whore. I like to talk super trashy with him and I have plans to do very very sick things with him when he returns from his training stuff.

Then there is my Teddy Bear. He puts the ‘friends’ in friends with benefits. We met once while I was on another date and he happened to be in the same park. I knew I wanted to hang out with him again. He came to my place and hung out with me while I had a friend here so we had the chance to spend time together without the pressure of sex.

Last night? He came over to hang out with our first chance at privacy.

We both knew where the night was going to go. Still, we spent quite a bit of time listening to music, watching some comedy and talking about every subject imaginable. We have a connection. Same twisted humour, same views on sexuality. He reads my blog and knows he isn’t the only guy in my life. It’s fine because his situation is an open relationship. He doesn’t have a sense of jealousy about my other fun times. We talk very candidly about all of that. He told me establishing the intimacy is important to him. Sex gets better if you really know your partner.

So? He’s my intimacy guy. When I need someone to just come over, listen to me blabber on about things that probably bore them and then have really good sex? (yes, it was really good sex) He’s the one.

I really enjoy his company. He’s built like a football player so I feel really tiny in his arms. We laugh at the same things. Like the same movies/music.  And he’s quick to just put his arms around me and keep them there. Thus, my Teddy Bear.

Variety is bliss! Now… time to get ready for my date today LOL


I decided to take down my dating profile.

It was fun while it’s been there. I have met some really nice people to talk to who don’t seem to have any real ambition to meet. Some people I’ve met and it’s been, well, fun blog fodder. Some are just total creepers asking bizarre questions of someone for a first message. Like, “If we go for a walk on the beach when we meet can I smell your feet after?” (Personally? “Hello” works better with me)

However in all of the hullabaloo that has been my current dating life I have met some pretty cool people. One wasn’t from my dating profile, just a local who is currently out of town but wants to meet when he gets back from his training thing.

The guys I’ve met online that I think are the best? Are the guys that pester me to meet them even if I’ve put them off (anxiety means I cancel). We meet, don’t have sex or even really fool around but they let me know they read my blog, get who I am or where I’m at. They just want to keep knowing me. They hope it means they will get into my panties.

It’s the select few I’ve laughed with that I want to keep around. A few guys stopped a few minutes to say hi as they were passing through my hood. Last minute they asked if they could pop in to put a face to the online conversations. Some others spent hours here. Visiting not only me but other people in my life and there was no pressure to ‘get me alone’.

Altogether, I’ve met a few. Might even call it a roster! But they are aware of the situation and still made the effort to make a friendship first. They all want to be with me and I am sexually attracted to all of them. Connection happened when they put friendship before box.

I think I have found a sufficient number of friends with benefits! I’m looking forward to having these really cool guys around in my life to spend time and have amazing fuck sessions with. I’m sure they will all let me tell stories and most have offered to be cameramen for me. But it will be more than that, too! Exactly what I needed.

Time to ditch the crazy of the online first dates for the comfort of being with familiar. That was a quick process. I’m glad!

Mr. Cool

Of all the first dates I have been on in a while? Mr. Cool, the rock star, was the most exciting by far.

Okay, so he would say he is NOT a rock star. By virtue of the fact I could say his name and you might not recognize it? Star is a bit strong. But he’s one of those musicians behind the stars. He plays for the divas. Yes, he is musical support to the likes of Beyoncé. Toured with Christina Aguillera. I got to see pics of him with Ringo Starr and Joe Walsh. And he played me some of the stuff he has been working on lately. To me? If you travel the world and play/record with all these celebs? You are also a star.

The date itself? He picked me up in the fancy car, took me to dinner at the most amazing restaurant where we laughed and talked. We made friends with the people at the next table over (I even got a girls number LOL). We each had two drinks with dinner and then decided to get something else and go back to his hotel room for a night cap.

We couldn’t find an open liquor store. No off sales. So we retired to his room and ended up in bed. Slutty? Maybe.

But it didn’t feel like that. Actually, he hadn’t been with anyone (even on a date) since his divorce. That’s quite some time. So I felt kind of honoured and like it was something special. We did it a few times in a few ways. It was good. And we did it again this morning before we checked out.

What I really found was the coolest part? Not feeling at all like it was a fuck and chuck. He took me out for breakfast, we went and walked the labrynth at the park (one of my favourite things to do and he had never been), we visited the sand sculpting competition and beach festival. And before going home? We rounded it out with an hour or so hike on one of the community trails.

In the end? He’s a really great, really busy guy who lives three hours from me even when he is home. Not really realistic for hanging out often. But we had pleasant conversation with some nice laughs. We both enjoy the outdoors and gardening. There were lulls in the conversation but they weren’t uncomfortable. I think we both enjoyed each others company. But I can also tell we are from completely different worlds. So maybe I will hear from him or see him again. Maybe I won’t. That’s up to him. But he did say he’d like to get together again sometime.

At the very least? I met one of the coolest people last night. THAT is how to have a first date!

Rock Stars And Fancy Cars

I met a guy online who is a musician. He was playing at the Vancouver Folk Fest this weekend with the guys from Blue Rodeo. And at the last minute? He messaged to say he wanted to catch a ferry and drive over to take me out for a late dinner and drinks.

Um, well, first? YES!

Second? I did question him. You’re going to ferry two hours across the ocean and drive fours hours? The only ferry he could get lands no where near me. Then he had to have his manager pull strings to get him into a hotel. That’s a lot of effort.

And here I sit. He texted me that he is about 20 minutes out and I should watch for the silver convertible Mercedes. I’ve never been in a Mercedes.

I know I am overreacting in my head. He’s just a guy. But I have never had a guy, let alone someone who walks amongst celebs, o to this kind of over the top effort just to meet me and take me out. I feel pretty cool. And special.

He has a hotel room. I know what that implies and we’ll see what happens. I mean, I like sex and I’m all giddy. Add wine? We’ll see what happens.

Regardless? I think this is one first date that may go better than the last few 🙂


Family Reunions

There is something going on in the park today. Where I live? My space has a hotel on one side, a courtyard on the other and one trailer that backs in on the one side that faces my yard. It’s VERY quiet because I don’t really have neighbours.

But today I can hear a bunch of people in the courtyard hugging, kissing, crying and congratulating.

I went up to check my mail and on the way back I noticed the hotel room adjacent to my trailer had the door open and a lady was standing outside. I told her mine was the RV next door and asked how she was. She excitedly told me all about their family reunion. It’s her mom’s 98th birthday. It is her and her husbands 50th anniversary. And everyone came to celebrate all weekend.

As she told me about all the celebrations my eyes welled up a bit with some tears. She was SO excited and happy. And then? I hugged her. She hugged me back so hard. Like she really needed it or something. Made me glad I did it even though touching others is against my nature LOL

So now I am invited to a family reunion for a 98th b-day and 50th anniversary.

This is what happens when I send out my energy to the universe asking to meet people LMAO

First Dates

UGH! Like really? Ugh.

I joined an online dating site. I’ve met three guys with three VERY different experiences.

I have to laugh about it all. It’s been more than 8 years since I have been on a dating site. I was hoping the people and situations were different… but they aren’t. Guys try to sound all up n up but most of them are really looking for a hook up. Truly nice guys find me a bit too ghetto.

I needed to get laid. Out of three dates? I got it. Once.

So here we go…

One guy? The really nice one? ‘namesrhard’ (a version of his online name) We walked along the beach for about an hour, stopped to sit on the bench and talk for a while. He came back to my place for a drink before he had to go pick up his little girl. We laughed and it was pleasant. But he has a daughter and I am not looking to be a step-parent. I knew it wouldn’t be a romantic connection. I messaged him after and thanked him for a nice afternoon and said if he ever wanted to go for a hike we could as friends. He got back and told me it was awesome to meet me but that without a romantic connection it wasn’t gonna happen. Cool. I like straightforward.

One guy? He came across as wanting to know more about my adventures of coming to BC from Alberta. I was thinking it would just be conversation because he was younger and a bit more ‘hippy’ than I even am. When we met? He was obviously into having sex. A fuck n chuck situation though. And also informed me he has the herps and doesn’t like condoms. Are you fucking kidding me? When we ended the date WITHOUT a fuck? He acted like it was because I believe the earth is round. Oh yeah. We spent most of our beach walk with him explaining to me in a condescending tone that the earth is flat and science is a hoax.

The date I got laid? Really nice guy as well. Picked me up and we went for a drive and had a drink by the beach. Found we had a connection but because he lives so far away? Probably not a relationship thing. However? Would I like to go back to his place so we could have some wine together? Done deal.

LMAO Sounds like that worked out great, right? Well, I did get laid. He has a nice place and he is a clean guy. Sexually responsible. I like that.

But when a guy is about to enter you and decides at that moment to let his inner pervert out without warning? It can startle you. When he whispers in your ear, “Have you had your first period yet lil girl? I want to make you pregnant and take care of you, okay?”

What the fuck? LOL I just went with it. Everyone has there own weird fantasies. And he was acting it out with a 42 yr old not a 12 yr old so that is some credit, I guess. But it caught me off guard. Shouldn’t something like that be talked about before role played by surprise?

He did fuck me every way imaginable. I got off a couple times for sure. I needed that!

So. First dates. I am now remembering why I hate dating LOL


An Evening To Remember

I don’t meet other people’s peeps. Or at least I try not to. I’m not the GF to meet your mom or go to family events. I’m not the friend you invite to someone else’s party because you don’t want to go solo.
I have social anxiety and I will fail you as a friend, socially, more often than not. I also have multiple physical health issues that, when they raise their ugly heads in public, make me embarrassed so I don’t like to do it.
And? I get attached way too easily to the people I meet. Then I find myself with all these people I suddenly care even the slightest bit about and my mental energy is spread so thin I can’t focus on myself.
Last night? I attended a party with my friend. It was a simple, small dinner party at a restaurant. And sure enough? I immediately had strong emotional energy towards one particular couple there. The girl is interested in knowing me. Her husband seemed to be interested as well.
And I want to know them. Each for different reasons. But also together because watching them together was kind of magical. The way they are in love? I remember being that in love in my own situation. It was nothing they said or did (I barely spoke to them) but an energy coming off them. They have a connection.
When I noticed the picture on the wall across from me was crooked and it started my anxiety (yes, OCD shit like that CAN give me panic attacks)? They both expressed concern, not anything I would feel bad for.
I got through the evening. Meeting my friends peeps, OCD issues, puking my way through a meal in a public place.
And in the end? I really hope to get to know this couple. They have a special energy coming off them. That energy made what could have been an anxious evening a delightful one!


I met two women recently.

One I met as the mother of my friend. The other I met because my friend was driving out to pick her up and wanted company for the ride.


‘The Painter’ is almost 87. She is the friend we picked up. ‘The Chocolatier’ is my friends mother and she is almost 82. We drove the distance to get/bring friend AND painting to mom.

When we walked through the door? Mom’s eyes lit up with some kind of light I have never seen before. “Oh, ….”, she was so delighted to see her sister friend. And after spending an hour or more listening to Painter chat with my friend, reminiscing about the past as we traveled? I can understand why.

These women have sisterhood. Their husbands worked together in the days of the 50’s/60’s where you developed friendships from co-working situations. They became friends, raised children side-by-side. Even through changes in life they remained friends, writing letters and having visits when they could.

Now they are in their elder years. Both their husbands have passed but they have each other.

It was such a beautiful experience to sit in the back seat of the car as my friend drove his mom’s friend to visit her. Hearing stories and memories. Understanding the closeness of the families. And then seeing his mom’s face light up as her friend arrived.

They are both thriving older women!! They are very much enjoying their visit, with shenanigans all their own. They are ‘sisters’ like I hope to have when I am almost 90.

It was very inspiring to me to meet two such wonderful women this weekend. I laughed with them, joked with them, learned some really cool history and felt love from their hugs.