New Dentist

I have new dentist!!

I’ve been in pain for a few days. I had a broken, rotten molar that was giving me headaches and becoming infected.

I don’t have dental coverage under any of my insurance things. Seems dentists around here aren’t quick to help unless you have insurance or cash up front. No one take payments anymore. Even if things are an emergency.

However, I remembered a dentist I’d heard of that helps people in need and I looked him up online. I called. They wanted to make the appointment right away but I asked about cost, etc. I told them my situation and all the money I had for this. The receptionist told me to come in regardless of my circumstances because the doctor was kind.

So I went.

He extracted my tooth without pain. AND he described everything he was doing and what I could expect to hear or feel as he did it. His assistant held my hand and he kept telling me how great I was doing (like I was giving birth to a tooth LOL).

My appointment today should have cost me around $600. They knew I was financially challenged for that kind of payment all at once. They asked what I had.

I had $120 to offer and said I was willing to make payments (something they don’t do). The dentist decided to do my procedure for the $120. Nothing else would be owed because this was an obvious emergency.

I asked them what it would have cost and they came up with a price that was discounted in many ways and the total came to $290. I made a proposition! If I pay the balance of the bill, instead of taking it as a gift, would they work with me to get help for my teeth on my budget.

And they said yes! They told me they don’t usually take payments but they could see my earnest desire to get my tooth health under control. They will continue to offer me the discounted rate they gave me today.

When I go back to pay the balance next week? He’s going to book me an appointment for a full exam, etc.

I suddenly have this amazing dentist and I am so grateful!


Karma Jail

I know I did some bad things in my past. Hurt people. I went from being a very kind and caring person to being someone who used others and abused friendships. I made some bad karma. Then for a long time life was shitting on me.
I saw the correlation but I ignored it for the longest time. I pushed the last of the people who cared about me away and I ended up alone.
However, the universe must have known that is what I needed. I used that time to heal. Reflect. I used that as an opportunity to turn myself into a better person. And while I was still being crapped by life and people? I maintained my efforts to be good and kind.
It worked! I feel like my time in karma jail has been served and my kindness’ are being rewarded.
I found my dream home with an epic landlord and property manager. They make me feel like family.
I reached out online to find some used furniture for cheap because everything was built into my RV I gave away. People who read my story all along the way? Reached out and gave me some really cool stuff. A leather couch that sorta of matches my recliner and looks great in here. And? A king size bed. She said it was her guest room bed and was never really used but seeing the kindness I gave others made her want to give me the bed.
All good karma right? But it doesn’t stop there!
I went to garage sale today. I spent $8 on a lamp, a piece of art and I bought a book for the property manager’s little girl because she likes horses.
I guess karma thought I didn’t get enough for my $8. As we were driving back through town we passed what we thought was another garage sale and we stopped. Not a sale. FREE. She was downsizing her cabin, boat and RV so she was giving away everything I could see.
I now have a beautiful wooden wine rack that matches the wood in my cabin. Mixing bowls, the good kind with rubberized bottoms. A marble cutting board that matches the kitchen and makes it ‘pop’. Storage containers, cookie sheets, plates…   and she told me to come back tomorrow and she will have more for me.
Yep, I’ve definitely been released from karma jail. The nice thing about good behaviour on release from karma jail? Karma rewards!

Moving Day

My moving day is right around the corner and I am so excited.  The previous tenants vacated a few days early so the property manager has graciously allowed me to begin bringing over my outdoor things and anything that can be stored in the outdoor shed while she cleans and readies the cabin. I pick up my keys and take possession tomorrow! With all the advance moving? I should be moved over and nesting before dinnertime!

Someone from a local Facebook group offered me a couch that is going to be perfect for the space. It matches the recliner I already have and she is able to help deliver it the day I move in.

Admittedly, getting the outdoor stuff cleaned up has been exhausting. Things under my RV gooseneck were mudcaked on the bottom. Trying to clean mud off to transport things, while still in a muddy, wet yard, was a challenge but I was lucky to have good help.

My freezer was filthy and rusted from being outside in the rain for two years. However, I washed it up and a friend with more muscle power than I can muster removed all the rust. It’s not quite ‘new’ looking but I’ll throw a coat of spray paint on it and it will look like much less of an eyesore!

Digging around under my RV? I discovered some tools I never knew I had. Different friends offered me tools for gardening over the years and they were just put under the RV. I have a hoe, a spade and an old school hand tiller. All heritage tools in great condition.  There is a nice size axe and a smaller hatchet for splitting firewood for my big outdoor firepit.

So many things are coming together to make this the easiest move I have ever had. Thanks to everyone who been such an encouragement to me throughout the struggle of finding a new home. Your positive energy helped light the way!

Tales Of The Travelling RV

When my RV was gifted to me? It already had a history.

Someone bought it and then had to leave it behind as ‘payment of rent owed’. The new owner rented it out to someone in need for only the cost of pad rent. When she left the situation he did the same for me. When I was alone and felt insecure? He gifted it to me so I would always have a home.

I met the couple who originally gutted it and made it the beautiful open concept it is now. They sold it to “payment owed guy” for a bargain because they had a baby and needed more space. This RV has a beautiful history of people being helped.

It’s had it’s ups n downs! I’ve struggled with it and rather than struggle anymore? I found new housing!

However, in the spirit of kindness, I posted my running down RV on the same website I found my place. I posted it ‘as is’ and was honest about it’s condition. I may have even been over-dramatic about it’s issues.

I’m so happy that someone saw it and contacted me. His sister needs a place. Her rental was sold and she will be homeless at the end of the month. He is VERY handy and rebuilt an entire wall of an RV once so my minor issues are completely within his range of helping her fix up. He told me he was delightfully surprised at it’s condition. He was super grateful.

It was gifted to me without transfer papers. I gave him the name of Mike, who gave it to me, so he could see if he could get papers. Turns out? He already knows the kind man who gave me my home. Paperwork won’t be an issue.

I gifted it to them. He promised me he would fix it up really nice for her and once she is back on her feet? They will gift it forward and let me know who it goes to.

My tiny RV, that has already seen lifetimes of kindness, is going to move on to improvement and be a home for people who need for a long time.

Welcome Home!

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This is the patio/garden area of my new home!

It’s a gorgeous little cottage in the woods. I have a nice little kitchen with an open concept to the living room. Nice size bathroom. Nice size bedroom with good closet space. Beautiful deck and patio for gardening with a gorgeous little shed for my tools.
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It’s six minutes closer to town and I can still catch a bus when I need to. The owner lives on the property in a house she built from the trees on it. She was 50 when she started her dream and this little cottage was something she had brought to the land to live in while she built. She is 82 now. The cottage is a walk down a wooded path from her giant house but I have my own driveway so guests won’t need to disturb her if I have someone over. She goes to the same aquatic class as I do at the pool. She has another lady who acts as the property manager for her and that lady is amazing as well.
This really is the perfect place. Right price, wonderful landlords and it’s like my childhood fantasy setting. I’m over the moon for the end of the month and making my way to my new home.

Fucking Waiting

I’ve been actively looking for housing. Where I live makes it a challenge (Affordable Housing) but today I did get to see a place I want.

It’s my dream place. A tiny one bedroom cottage nestled in the trees. It’s on an acreage so it is very private and quiet. Has a private driveway. It has a full kitchen and a regular size bathtub (two things on my list). There is sunny patio that has a garden storage area. The garden storage is separate from the other outside storage. It’s this cute cabinet with glass paned doors.



It’s totally in my price range. It’s CLOSER to the pool and the property owner goes to the same aquafit class I attend. She’s 82 and swears like a trucker. “I won’t take any bullshit about rent. It gets paid on time.”

The property manager let me know I was first in line. She was super grateful I brought my proof of income with me (bank statement style proof). I don’t know a lot of people local but, apparently, she knows people I know (she knows them better) who are people I gave as a reference. That was a nice thing to learn over an application, right?

It’s the ideal setting, price and landlord situation. I want this so badly. My heart will break if it doesn’t happen.

Even though it has only been a few hours? The waiting is already killing me. (ie. re-reading my rental resume, every communication I’ve had with her and everything I’ve posted that she has seen or commented on)

Fucking waiting is so hard for someone with anxiety and OCD.

Affordable Housing

Affordable housing is difficult to find. Particularly for me. Why?

Firstly, I’m on disability. So even though my income is guaranteed and I would never apply for something outside my budget? I come with a stigma. It’s like potential landlords immediately think my health issues will be a problem to them. Sometimes it is separate suite in their home and they ‘would prefer renters that work outside the home’. I read that as ‘we want your money but don’t actually want you here very much’.

I’m home a LOT. I’m quiet. Usually sleeping or writing. Even when I have someone staying with me or living with me? It’s quiet. We watch movies. I don’t have parties. But simply because I am home a lot due to my disability status I miss a lot of opportunities.

Second reason is my name. I won’t lie about my name and potential landlords seem to love their Google searches before accepting a tenant. My name sparks a lot of questions that they never take the time to ask.

When I was in Alberta, in the thick of my media blitz, it was so difficult to find housing. It worked out but in a strange way. I was living in a bedroom of someone who was on a lease. I had no idea she was not allowed to have me. However when the landlord came to evict me? She saw I was the more responsible tenant. She accepted my rental application. Then she Googled all my press and made me jump through hoops getting statements from RCMP, etc that the media was false information. After all that she offered me a very beautiful place I could afford.

I don’t often have the chance to PROVE myself as a tenant before applying. And not everyone will ask you about what they read so you never have the chance to explain.

However, here I find myself looking for affordable housing. The vacancy rate is .01%. It’s a very expensive area so anything reasonable goes quick and often the best opportunities aren’t advertised. You have to know someone who knows someone in an area I know hardly anyone.

Which brings around the third reason I have difficulty. There also seems to be so many ads that say ‘only suitable’ for a single person? Really? I live, with another person (roomie/caregiver) and a cat, in a 27′ RV with no slide outs. My bathroom is so small I took the door off so I could lift a leg to dry off. My kitchen and living room are one room that I can toss things to my bed from. NOTHING is full-sized. Not the bed, oven or tub. Your ‘small’ one bedroom that has actual doors and a working oven looks like a kingdom to us. But because we are two people we often aren’t considered.

Fourth reason is often an issue for any renter. My sweet Bellisama. NO PETS! It drives me a bit crazy but I have also done clean up in an apartment where the person leaving had a pet they let destroy the place. I know what landlords go through because I have worked as a property manager in the past. There is no way to prove you are a responsible cat owner who will protect their property investment as if it was your own. I’ll have trouble with the no pets thing.

What it comes down to?

I’m a good tenant. I haven’t paid my rent even one day late in over 12 years. I don’t get complaints, have always gotten my full damage deposit back (even with pets) and I respect the place I live as if it was the home I own, not rent. I have references for all of that! I can provide proof of my guaranteed income within the rental budget. I take great pride in being an excellent tenant!

My four reasons take my chances of finding housing in .01% vacancy down .0001%.

But I need housing. My living situation isn’t healthy. It’s going to break down quickly and I can’t afford the fixes. It’s my best opportunity to find a suitable living situation that will be long term. So I’m looking. I’ve been looking for months but now I am looking hard!

Wish me luck!

Riverside Resort

I live at Riverside Resort in Qualicum Beach on Vancouver Island.  I am sharing the information with the world because I need to talk about the one of the worst customer service experiences I have ever had!

I’ve never had a problem here with another guest and the majority of the staff are remarkably kind and professional so this caught me off guard.

It started a couple days before Christmas. My water froze for the second time this season.

I have a heat tape that wraps my hose because I know it could freeze but the heat tape left a couple feet uncovered. If it was heated from the spigot until a couple feet until into the trailer? Should be fine!

They told me after the first time it froze to leave my water running. Honestly? My bathroom tap is always running (even in  the summer) because Sami won’t drink standing water in a dish. When the water stopped running? My tap was on and I discovered there was no water coming from the spigot.

I reported the frozen water immediately and was told they would ask someone about it. I went back and forth into the office filling my bottles with water for cooking and dishes and inquiring if they had looked at the water situation for two days before being told it was my fault because my heat tape doesn’t go all the way to my trailer.

I knew it was a park problem because it was the same thing that happened last time. But I checked my hose again. Sure enough there was no water or ice. And still no water coming from the spigot.

I went back to the office and told them the problem was clearly NOT with my equipment and I was unhappy they had tried to blame me when no one had even inspected the situation yet.

I was finally told the maintenance person would be gone until December 27.

It was only Christmas Eve and the office was going to be closed so I wouldn’t even have a way to get water to cook, clean or drink for two days. I raised my voice and said it was unacceptable. Suddenly? The owner and another P/T employee were at my door.

My friend, a guest in my home who was trying to help me with this and a professional in irrigation systems, went out to show them the situation and try to discover the source of the problem. Instead of talking to him and trying to all work together to resolve a difficult situation? The owner chose to scream at my friend while his employee threatened my friend.

My friend kept his cool and came back inside with the situation still unresolved.

On Christmas Day we managed to get by in the morning. And then? A Solstice blessing!

My favourite maintenance guy came by the park. He has worked here longer than the owner has owned it and he knows the situation. His son works here, also amazing, and is the one who fixed this last time.

Tom came by my RV. He re-assured me he knew the problem and it would be fixed. My water was on within minutes.

So what is the problem that I could leave a tap with water flowing and it could still freeze?

My RV site is the only one in the park that is on the ‘camping site’ water lines. I’m the last spigot at the end of the line. The water doesn’t flow because no one is camping and the lines were buried not nearly low enough because they were only ever intended for camping. I moved into my site as permanent and the water lines were never buried further. If the ground freezes quickly? The water lines freeze before they even get to my side of the fence. Even with my water on at a trickle.

I thanked him for explaining it to me again. I was grateful to have my water back and just wanted to let it go.

However? they ignored me and blamed me and then a resort employee threatened my guest. I couldn’t let it out of my mind because I don’t believe in letting people bully me.

I went into the office a few days later (after having time to calm down) and asked to speak with the owner privately. I told him I was really concerned with how that situation was handled and how my guest was treated. He tried to make excuses. I explained to him what the maintenance guy told me and how it was, in fact, the resorts problem. I reiterated there is never an excuse for employees to threaten guest with physical harm. And I got a bit emotional about it. All I was asking for was an apology and he would rather argue it was a holiday? Tears came to my eyes.

Instead of an apology I was told to go away. “I don’t even listen to my kids if they cry, so I won’t listen to you.”

So, I’m looking for a new place to live. And I definitely don’t recommend living at Riverside Resort unless you’re willing to tolerate physical threats from employees and ignored park maintenance issues.


A Letter To My Mom

I have been struggling a lot emotionally lately. Some of it started around the time of my birthday. I made some great personal changes in my life (pool membership/exercise, back to my counselor, etc).

However I have also been fighting and struggling with something. I haven’t talked about it because it makes me so sad. But I need to let it out. So, this is the email I sent my mom today.

This might be hard to read. Sorry.

I’m sorry I didn’t send you a birthday card this year. I was struggling emotionally and financially. I couldn’t afford card and postage. And I brought myself into enough emotional normalcy to at least send an email.
And I am sorry it was an email, not something more personal.
Is that why you never sent me a birthday card?
You taught me always to send thank you notes, be reciprocal. You complained about how Brandi never sent anything…   so why should you? And I totally understand that attitude. I’ve ditched many a pen pal for lack of reciprocation.
This was the first time I can remember that I never got a birthday card from you. I walked to the office so expectantly for a week before and after. And I have spent weeks crying about it.
I can’t cry anymore. I need to move past this.
I feel like the day I was born isn’t worth your celebration anymore. You’d send a card with your birthday message and often a verse of Scripture that I would meditate on that day.To honour you and the day you gave life to me.
I really missed that this year. i don’t believe the same things as you but it doesn’t mean I don’t want and need you to be in my life in YOUR ways. I missed my birthday Scripture this year.  I looked for it for weeks….. and I am still crying.
I love you. I’m sorry to put this on you.
I feel selfish for being SO sad about it. My parents are having their own health issues. And I missed their birthdays as well. Who am I to judge my mom for whatever reason?
But I have been crying for weeks. And I need to let it go. And writing it is the only way. Hopefully tonight I fall asleep more peacefully.

Feeling Large ‘N In Charge!


One of the changes I decided to make this year of my life is to take control of exercising more. I’ve been walking more and now it’s time to hit the exercise class at the aquatic centre.

I LOVE aquatic aerobics and they are the best exercise for someone who has my kind of joint/muscle pain.  However, I don’t own a swimsuit right now and the local aquatic centre is a bit pricey for someone with my income.

The thing is? My dad always told me ‘you only don’t have because you don’t ask’.  So I asked. Do you offer any kind of assistance to someone with disability income level who would benefit from using your facility? The very kind woman gave me a card to contact someone else and ask.

Sure enough I meet the requirements for help and it’s been set up. The discount? It’s almost 100% off.

It was with a heart full of excitement that I began to shop for my swimsuit. Everything I could find in town was over $100 (yikes) so I went on good ‘ole Amazon and found the one in the picture. Measured myself up and went to pick my size.

WTF? I am not a 4 XL. The biggest I ever wore was 3XL when I was 400 pounds. But I guess online sizing is meant to make you feel like you’re bigger than you are. Other women’s comments said they ordered according to the size chart even though they also feel like they are not a 4 XL. They were glad they did because it fit them perfect.

I ordered the suit in the size it said I should (the 4 XL). But apparently it’s good I am taking charge of getting more exercise because I’m larger than life. I hope that after the soul crushing size choice it at least fits when it gets here.