I do not regret my time I spent with my ex.
He changed my life in so many ways. He helped me out of hard drugs. He and I had the most adventurous times of our life together. He started me on a path to learn about music. He showed me how to start a chainsaw. He took pictures of me when he thought I wasn’t looking because he thought I was beautiful. He taught me things that helped me see politics from other angles. He accepted my craziness most of the time. He let me have freedom to do what I want. He spent a decade with me and it is part of who I am.
Hold up… “he let me have freedom”?
That is exactly the ideology I needed to let go of. “Letting me” do anything makes anyone the wrong one for me.
It took the final break-up for me to feel like I could be free. Not free of him, free of my own commitment to a relationship which was already unhealthy for so many reasons from both sides of the equation.
I will always be grateful for my time with him. He changed me.
I’m laying any thoughts about him to rest now. I hope that with meditation he never crosses my mind again.
I’m a bit known for always having my headphones on in public. And always dancing to whatever is playing. I get commented on, offered rides, honks n waves. But today was the first ever throw down LOL
I was at the bus stop, grooving to my tunes while I waited. Across the highway, in the parking lot, was some kind of bottle drive. I wasn’t paying too much attention.
Until some hippie in a hoodie, with a man bun, was suddenly on the boulevard and he was dancing.
I thought he was making fun of me because he mimicked every move. Then I realized he was challenging me. I would do something and he would copy it. He would do something but it was way more fancy than I can pull off. But I tried.
We had a dance off for ten minutes as a crowd gathered to watch it and people in the traffic between us honked and waved.
When my bus came? Everyone on the other side of the highway waved at me. I blew them kisses.
Best experience ever!
**Names in this have been slightly changed!!
The best compliment I ever received? Is a story in itself.
When I was a 14 yr old I wasn’t as super cool as I am today. Dumpy, frumpy, nerdy and felt bullied at school.
I took it well and even developed the nickname Shaundiluv.
One day the principal called me to his office and told me they were taking a new girl who was leaving her old school. She had a issues with appearance and was bullied so much at her previous school.
He told me he had spoke to ‘Felix’ (the most popular guy at school) to ask how this girl could transition to our school without suffering the same way. Apparently Felix told him, “Introduce her to Shaunda. She’s the most kind and compassionate person I know.” And then my principal asked if I would be the girl’s friend.
I decided that day to live my life by rule of kindness and compassion. Pretty great compliment.
Second part to the story?
About a year ago I met a new friend and we hang out quite a bit. One day a couple months ago he looked at me and said, “Do you know what I like about you? It doesn’t matter where we are or the situation… everybody leaves interactions with you with a smile on their face. You’re kind to everyone.”
It made me feel like my most important life goal had been achieved. And THAT was actually the best compliment I ever received. 🙂
WARNING: THIS HAS SOME VULGAR AND SEXUAL LANGUAGE. SOME OF IT GETS XXX
So in the past four months? My period has been sporadic a bit. Dark (like colour), arriving at will instead of on time and one particular one was extraordinarily painful.
I was worried enough to as a couple sister-friends online. I was blaming it on being on peri-menopausal and not currently under doctor care. They thought ovarian cysts and all kinds of other issues. However, the pain subsided. Because I don’t have a doctor it has gone unchecked.
This month? I took full sexual advantage of my hormones during my PMS.
For the past two days? I have forced my BF to sexually perform every night after he gets home. I mean, he gets greeted with dinner and drinks but when he’s done?
I tell him exactly what to do and how to fuck me. I make him take me in the shower to get the filth of his workday off him. Then we take it to the bed. I’ve been making him fuck me especially hard. Crying out and making noises he’s never heard as I’ve taken every inch of him in ways I haven’t before. Over the top hot love-making.
**BACK TO LADY THINGS**
Two nights in a row of hard fucking and I bled. But this time it doesn’t hurt. It’s not dark. I don’t feel discomfort. It’s bright red and healthy looking menstrual blood.
(Bwaa ha ha, met someone who puts that stuff in their plants? Um, no!)
So, I’m thinking? Sometime a girl just needs to be really opened up. Fully penetrated, deep, hard and almost painful. Because we all need to clean the pipes!
I know I feel better.