Blow Job Points


This was my Facebook status about my date tonight.

Watching my cat with my male friend as I am getting ready to take him to my bed.
Sami (my cat): Playing and licking. then wants her bum scratched and puts it in his hand, face and very pushy about it.
Him: Scratches it but then goes back to playing.
Sami: Turns around around and bites/scratches until he performs correctly.
Me: Thank you Sami for showing him what happens when you don’t treat the pussy right!
Off to bed now 🙂 
Ah, what happened next is nothing less than amazing.
We’ve played around before so I know he treats the pussy right. After reading my status he took it on like a challenge.
We have this little game where when he does me favours I give him blow job points. He redeems them by eating my pussy. Extra redemption is given if I blow him at all and it’s like triple redemption if we 69.
So how many blow job points are redeemed when you go fully blown 69? Like what if I was the first to go tongue deep on him? What if he’s the first I let do that to me?
I’ve eaten ass before. He hadn’t until he met me. Nor had he allowed anyone to go there with him. I dared. We’ve worked our way up from barely touching to riding each others tongues with our assholes.
I think we were both taken aback how much we really love it. I mean, I expected he would like giving it to me because he is a giver. But for him to open up to me and really get into enjoying having me explore his more private parts in the most intimate ways is pretty trusting.
And tonight? Let’s just say many blow job points were redeemed!

Phone Sex


How old was I when I started having phone sex? 14

I lied about my age to get a job in the head office for KFC (yes, the chicken people). I took calls and dispatched orders. While doing so I met Dale. He liked my voice, we flirted on the phone about legs VS breasts while I took his order, he told me to keep his number and I did.

I was so sexually curious by that age. I snuck out of my bed in the middle of the night and called him.

Dale was 42. I lied to him and told him I was older (I said 18) so he would talk to me. He knew I was younger and a bit inexperienced so he talked me through my first phone sex. I was already masturbating by that age but he encouraged me to try new ways. Sometimes he would ask about any objects around me. It’s the one and only time I ever put a flower vase inside myself. I’ve learned to respect the vagina since then.

I learned I LOVE phone sex. Probably because I love to masturbate with inspiration. Being told what to do and how to touch yourself? Your natural reactions (moan n groans) inspiring the one on the other end toward an explosive conclusion? I had phone sex with my ex while he was in jail. He couldn’t do anything but he could at least hear it. Phone sex is hot in it’s own way.

When I was in my mid-twenties I went pro. Fun Enterprises (a local escort service) was branching out to 900 lines and needed staff. Not only was my voice sultry? I came with office management experience. They hired me as the Office Manager. I had my own stable of phone bitches. I could choose my clients. Definitely a cash-cow, phone sex!

My boss was arrested for his other business interests (you can google that shit to verify… Fun Enterprises) and I left my phone job.

I cleaned my act up and went into a more acceptable form of office management again. But I don’t regret the experience of being a phone sex pro. Phone sex rocks. I might send the BF to bed and call him from the couch tonight.

Everyone Has A Tequila Story

Mine started out innocent. I was having a bad day and a pal convinced me to go to Karaoke Night at Gio’s. (longest running gay bar in North America at the time) My best friend knew I needed a night out. I was reluctant but tagged along.

It started at his friend’s apartment. I was meeting strangers but they all seemed to LOVE me to death. They were drinking champagne and doing shots. Then we left for the club and they ordered pitchers of beer. Sure, I’d take some. Thanks. All of the above.

* side note * I went through a weird phase of being everyone’s favourite fat girl. I was around 300 pounds at the time. I could KINDA hold my alcohol. To a point.

Then we went to Karaoke night at Gio’s.

My gay bestie, Jake, was hosting (My blog about killing Jake) that night. He used all his free drinks to buy me shooters.

Overall? After champagne, shots and pitcher beer? I did nine shots of tequila each followed by a tequila paralyzer.

And that is when she walked in. She looked like a hot mom. Shoulder length blonde hair, so pretty. I looked at her and my friends told me that she was 100% out of my league. I slurred at them they were full of shit.

I walked up to her at the bar and asked if she was with anyone. She said she wasn’t. I said, “You are now.” And I took her back to my table.

Marnie and I talked for an hour or so. we danced for more. When she turned to me, told me my friends were leaving and asked if I had to go? I told her, “Of course not. You’re coming home with me.”

She drove (don’t judge, please, it was more than 20 yrs ago) the few blocks to my place. I learned she was a ‘soccer-mom’ type whose hubby was out of town and she wanted a woman. I was fresh out of Bible College and really wanted every womanly experience I could have.

She was amazing. SO gentle. She had me cumming over and over. I couldn’t wait to go to town on her. Kissing her and tasting my pussy on hers lips made me quiver with excitement.

Maybe quiver too much?

Oh yep. That tequila caught up with me. Just as I got my tongue inside her? I barfed all over her. Repeatedly.

Worse? I found a porno mag, scrawled my phone number in eye liner on some naked woman, tore it out and gave it to her before I passed out.

She never called and I don’t drink tequila anymore. ‘Nuff said.


November 3 and 43

November 3rd is my birthday. In 2017 I am 43 years old.

I don’t make a fanfare over my birthday. This year’s was nice though.

My BF cracked three jokes about me being old or my gray hair before I reminded him it was my birthday. We laughed. He bought me carrot cake and wine.

I spent some time meditating about the coming year. I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions but on my birthday I often take time to reflect on the past and coming year. I have some goals set (long and short term both).

My birthday fell on the full moon. The Blood Moon. It was a two day full moon and I was able to send off a lot of the negative things I have been struggling with. I came away from it with such a sense of confidence this year will be very changing for me.

And as a side note?

I’ve been focused mentally on my looks lately. Feeling insecure. So my boyfriend had me dress up and then took pictures of me to remind me 43 looks awesome on me!


Regret Is Not Rape

I was raped (Raped). I have done things with men I would not normally do because it benefited me. I have also participated in sexual acts with men because I was afraid of what I would lose if I didn’t. People in positions of power (bosses, landlords, etc).

My own personal choices influence what I am about to write. There will be people who think I am so off base but I need to get this bullshit out of my head. I’ve been plagued by it since my friend told me I should have used the sex scandals in my opinion LOL (Rumination)

As I’ve been hearing or reading about the Hollywood sexual misconduct scandals (Weinstein, Spacey and now Louis CK) I haven’t paid too much attention.

When it started with Weinstein? My initial thought was, “I always thought Hollywood executives had their way with actresses. Isn’t that how those women get ahead? ” I know some have stood up against that and their career has suffered. That furthers the idea women need to perform to get ‘in’ in Hollywood. I mean, that is how it is portrayed in Hollywood movies and TV shows. Right?

Some women went to Hollywood with such a big dream. Hollywood taught them how to make it happen. So they showered with or fucked or let an ugly man go down on them because they thought they could get ahead.

I read some stuff about Kevin Spacey and, sadly, though I respect his acting, I think some of those accusations are really sad. He’s one I think took advantage of underage men.

However, one of his accusers has a story that is ancient history. He is 64 now and is talking about what he experienced when he was 27 and Spacey was younger than him (22). Really? You’re an out-of-the-closet man complaining about the sex a 22 year old Hollywood star had with you in the day gay sex was so taboo? Really? Stop complaining and start bragging. (sorry, just how I feel)

I haven’t begun to read the allegations against Jeremy Piven, Dustin Hoffman and Steven Seagal. I probably won’t. Most of the things I read make me angry.

I have done some research on Louis CK. He’s one of my favourite comics. I know he’s told some dirty things in his routine in the past. A lot of what he has been accused of has been a part of his act. Jerking of in front of women? He jokes about his shame. He spoke about it in 2011 (Self Deprecation About Masturbation)

I have a deep appreciation for his statement. Read it. He accepts responsibility. He always received consent but looking back can see how ‘being in a position he was’ made it difficult for women to say NO. (Louis CK Statement)

Now? My own thoughts on these accusations.

If you say NO it is rape. No question.

If you consent to any sexual act because you think it will further career, you’re afraid your career will suffer, you think he’s ugly but he’s famous, he offers to make you a star, takes you out for dinner/drinks, need your rent paid… whatever the fuck reason you say yes… you still said YES.

Take it from someone who has said yes and had regrets. You don’t get to cry rape or misconduct. The only misconduct is how many women are popping out of the woodwork since the first allegations to say, “Oh wait, I didn’t want those advances I said yes to either.”

Yes, if they were underage it was wrong. If they said no? It was rape. But the majority of allegations I read admit to giving consent. WTF?

The majority of accusations came from 2010ish. 2010 people. Not 1960.

Women have had a voice for decades. They could say no and report it. Except they wanted their career. And  felt it was threatened. So THEY chose to compromise themselves and say yes. In the height of feminism, acceptance of all sorts, some people chose to ‘sell’ themselves short. Use their body to get their way. That is prostitution, not rape.

What have we come to in society that we can go back ten years to blame others for our poor choices and regrets? So you said yes and didn’t get the part? Now you cry rape? Maybe you did get the part but now you feel like you compromised yourself to get it. Your regret to saying yes does not make it rape.

As a person who has said NO? I think those complaints marginalize rape victims. I’ve said yes with regret. I don’t call that rape. But I have been raped as well. Saying yes and crying rape after? Does an injustice to rape victims.

I know the difference between when I said no and when I said yes for a benefit I regretted after. Only one is rape.

I feel bad for some of the men being called out and shamed. They are having their lives, marriages and careers destroyed by women who didn’t have the balls to say no when they wanted to.

I mean what if every groupie who fucked a rock star comes out of the woodwork?






What Constitutes A Prostitute?

If anyone reading this is a ‘working girl’ I want you to know I have so much respect for you! I have had fantasies about selling myself to men from the time I was a child.

My history with prostitution began in Bible College. I was in a group that went out on late night weekends to visit prostitutes in Winnipeg. Love Lives Here. We passed out condoms and gave girls information about safe houses and places they could go if they had bad dates. All because “jesus loves you”. But, please, set that info aside. I went to meet hookers, not for them to meet jesus.

I think the girls I met loved me because I was so curious about their profession. They seemed to know I was not curious from a religious place even though I was there from Bible College..

When I left Bible College and moved into my own place? I stumbled home from a night of drinking to encounter Dita. I’d had a despicable evening. She was a working girl, crying about her bad date. And we sat on the stairs of my building talking about ‘bad dates’. And we cried together.

I’ve always been pro-woman in the work place. While feminists may think it means ‘I am woman and hear me roar’, I am more of ‘OMG I’m a kitten please protect me’. IE. I’ve lived my life wanting to be protected. I was taught I should even protect myself from myself.

Since then? I took on the attitude of some of the amazing women I’ve met. ‘Do what you need to to to make sure YOU are taken care of’.

Example? My first big  pay raise in the software world came with a ‘clothing allowance’ for shorter skirts. (2006, not 1956) I shortened my skirt and lowered my neckline. I was at my height of ‘body image’ and I flaunted it for money. I played up my body at every turn and my paycheque reflected it.

Is that prostitution? Debatable. I didn’t fuck my bosses (although there was this one I really wanted to LOL). It was never like that.

However. Since I have become sick, dependent on a very minimal income, there are times I have had monetary relationships with consenting men. (Sugar Daddy) With one gentleman it became purely business. That was back in Winnipeg.

Since leaving Manitoba I haven’t engaged in any kind of performance for pay.

Except? When I was single and dating I pretty much told anyone who dared to cross my threshold they should bring wine. Of course, they didn’t all get in my knickers so it was more of a ‘common courtesy’ request.

Which leads me to ask… what is the difference between a girl who has a guy take her out for dinner, come back with wine and then have sex but never see him again OR a girl who has someone show up with wine and after some great conversation she gives him a handjob OR the girl who just has the guy over to get himself off in a safe environment with a clean girl and he leaves cash on the table.

Aren’t they/we all just selling it?

I ask because I think if I were single? I’d prefer the quick fuck/BJ/handjob/simple conversation with the cash…   just sayin’.




I was having an argument with him the other night about a week. I took to the couch (not the bed) and I was watching my Netflix addictions. Thinking he was sleeping.

I got so horny. It came over me. Like, SOOOO horny!

We’d argued. So rather than turn to him? I turned to porn. And not just porn. I went taboo. Nothing I would ever do but somehow watching something that off colour strikes something in me. TOTAL taboo. So taboo I won’t even say it in my blog.

He awoke (or just got out of bed) and his only comment upon catching me? “NICE” Then he went for a drive and came back to let me know we are only roommates. He encouraged me to pursue others.

I felt dirty. I always feel dirty about that one fantasy. I’ve never entertained the reality, nor would I. And his reaction was so… well,

I feel ashamed. Like, totally.

But not because I feel I did anything wrong. I feel shame because the person I trusted to accept everything, the one who said all I need to do is tell him truth and he would accept? He made me feel shameful.

What do I do with that?


Lights, Camera, Action

It’s time to get excited. It’s time to light the lights. It’s time to get things started on the Shaunda show tonight. LOL


In all my adventures? I came across a very kind man who decided it was time for me to be on camera again. So he ordered me a cam and had it shipped to me. Because? Well, I am a good slut to tell him everything going on in my world and he wants to see some of it.

I’m back to going on webcam. If you wondered why I haven’t been writing? It’s because I am in a constant dance online with men. It’s fun. I show off for them, they feed my ego. It’s my narcissistic wet dream come true.

As an exhibitionist? I value being able to explore that side of my sexuality. I want every man to watch me and get off. I like to be super dirty and sexual without having to be touched. (that’s my anxiety kicking in LOL)

I was on cam before. It took so long to build a following. And I was ten years younger.

In the past week? I had one previous fan recognize me already LOL I’m getting quite a few fans and I am 4.5 out of 5 stars as far as girls on the site (viewers set that rate).

Plus, even though I don’t ask for tips? I get them.  Total bonus. Tips can be collected and cashed out into my bank account. I don’t ask for them because I am really there to be an exhibitionist and do what I want. Asking for tips means you do what THEY want. I’m too selfish for that LOL

Why do I get tips? Well, I don’t really know for sure. I mostly sit around and chat. Often in PJs. I tell guys who get demanding to get the fuck out of my chat. I ban people easily. Don’t I sound like your favourite porn? Maybe if you wanted to watch your wife bitch to get you off LOL

I occasionally get myself off. I have occasionally had a partner join me. I laugh a lot. I have people tell me I am funny and it makes me super happy. They want to see my pudgy belly and surgical scars and they say they are beautiful.

Being on cam is opening yourself up to a lot. Particularly judgement.

To be honest? I was scared to get back into that scene.  But now that I am back? I am seeing this as a healthy outlet for all the things I have been needing. Sexually and emotionally.

I have so much fun chatting with my fans about their day or the weather where they are. Germany, New Brunswick, Italy, Spain. I’ve even gathered a few local fans. One is surprisingly close though he doesn’t know it. Another? Well he’s joined me on cam.

I never thought I would get back on cam. I feel like it is rescuing me from some darkness. I feel like I am coming back into myself again. Other people have noticed as well. I glow.

So? Happy to be back on cam 🙂


Growing Old

We all get old. It’s not sexy.

I’m 42, been hitting on menopause because of my heath issues. Meno? She’s a fucking fabulous wonder. Meno. Lucky me I’ve had all the hormonal crap, pain in tits crap…  just won’t stop bleeding.

In the past weeks? I have met my share of older men. I love them.

Men over 70? When I say I like wine? They show up with enough I can drink and save a bottle. I have a growing wine cooler LOL

Beyond that?

They just want to have a glass of wine with me. They tell me about their wives. Dementia. Alzheimers. Dry box from old age. They show me pictures of their grandchildren. One even said he wished his grandson could find a woman as KIND as me.

In the end? Everyone needs touch. One of the reasons older people fall hard and fast  toward death as age hits? No one touches them unless it’s to change a diaper.

They lose their lovers to age. They are so alone.


I’ve used that word a lot lately. I feel alone.

Sluts get to have people around but they never have people stay. Sluts are lonely, too.

I know what it is like to feel alone.

When these men come to me? They think they want sex. More often than not? They have a glass of wine with me. And they tell me about their wife. And they cry as I hold one hand while they use the other to jerk off. I kiss their penis as they cum on my face.

And they cry. And they apologize. And they are so kind.

I tell them they should not feel ashamed. They are safe to be sexual around me and not feel like they are a bad man. That being able to experience them was a pleasure for me. And I tell them to go visit their wife right after. While they are still glowing from cumming on someone and feeling like a man.

I get my hugs and kisses that way.

I don’t always need a dick. I love the hugs from men who are growing older and just need someone to make them feel like a man for a moment.

Give Them An Inch…


That saying, “Give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile”?

I’m gonna switch that up for fun. Give me a finger and I’ll take a foot.

Yep. Did that. Not fisted, footed.

footm in box

My pussy isn’t that big but it needs big things in it. And I am not big on foreign objects like wine bottles… but if a guy decides he wants his toes in me? Sure. Lets give that a try.

I came.

He came afterward. I don’t think foot fucking was what he had in mind but he was awesome and it was fun. Additionally? It was a first. And I LOVE firsts.

So? He foot fucked me raw.

foot fucked raw

I needed it. I felt pretty hot as I rode his foot, reading him dirty blogs and other filth from other people.

And whatever? I got what I wanted. He got surprised not even knowing what he wanted. We both walked away satisfied.  But today my lady parts need a break!

I took a fucking foot LMAO